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tornadoday

~ …might I be found in words I leave behind

tornadoday

Tag Archives: forgiveness

better than most ~

18 Thursday Feb 2021

Posted by tornadoday in Rambling, spirituality, Storytelling

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

family, forgiveness, knowing, love, remembrance, truth, understanding, wealth

At the recent passing of my aunt, I am reminded of all the things I love and loved about her – how she enjoyed blueberry syrup, her love for coffee, the sound of her laughter.  I also reflect on the things I’ve surely gathered from her – my backbone, my stature, my love for pepper on cantaloupe, and the way I hold my hand over my heart when something touches me.

I’m humbled in the blessing of our lives clipped together, these ‘things’ that we share (we carry, we keep).   But, I am also grateful to know about them – to know what she loved as well as how she loved.

We should want for nothing more than to have someone truly know us – what we dream, what we grieve, what we love (when the dark is night and the ground so very cold).

I am reminded of an instance some years ago. My husband and I had a pretty deep discussion about my assertion that he might not know me as well as he thought. To prove my point I asked, ‘what’s my favorite color’.

Let me say here that I’m painfully aware that I am far more observant than most people. I listen for every hint of the story. If you mention some author to me over coffee in January, don’t be surprised when you receive a signed edition for Christmas. It’s what I do, and yet, I like to think myself forgiving of those who aren’t made the same.

But I also want to believe that those who love us most should be inclined to know us better than most.

Anyway back to the story. This ‘conversation’ occurred during a time when my brother-in-law traveled quite a bit and as a result, my sister and her little ones stayed with us a few nights each week. It so happened that they arrived just as the above discussion was ending.

Cameron, her two year-old son, was beaming as he came through the door, declaring he had a present for me (sure payment for the fact that I always had one for him). His little hand was clutched tight in front of him as I knelt down, excited for sure, and asked what it might be. As he slowly uncurled his fingers, I could see that a red M&M had melted all over his hand. O wow, I said.  Then he looked straight at me (through me) and said ‘I got it for you because it’s your favorite color.’ ❤️

Even now, I’m smiling just as I did in that moment………….

I pray that I never have cantaloupe and pepper without thinking of my aunt Lillian. And when I die, God help the poor soul who dares to bury me in blue…

might that you remember
the color of my eyes –
the way my fingers
warmed against your skin
how I take my coffee
and where my weakness lies
what I love –
for who I’ll come
again

. . .

when words are fell away ~

16 Tuesday Feb 2021

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, verse

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

a price to pay, acceptance, forgiveness, life, love, poet, promise, time, truth, writing

for wanting
there’s a price to pay
a promise I surmise –
to write again
when words are fell away
to garner loves forgiveness
for all I couldn’t say
when the nightbird came
to roost
above my bed

when the lacey lace
is torn apart –
stars forget to burn
as moonlight spills along
the eastern ridge
reminders come unbidden
to have their way at last
as punishment
for every word
unsaid

. . .

time to tell ~

15 Monday Feb 2021

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, spirituality, verse

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

acceptance, blessings, dreams, forgiveness, heart and soul, love, seasons, time, truth

I confess
once you knew me
not as sure you know me now
when years have passed
my story changing –
and what of love
I dreamed about

might I stay
e’er you would listen
had I words and time to tell
of paths I took
of fate diverging –
far from ways
you knew me well

dare I speak
of sorrows tasted
recall anew a broken heart
remnants of a love
imagined –
when evermore
was not that far

. . .

stories unremembered ~

05 Friday Feb 2021

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, spirituality, Storytelling

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

death, discontent, forgiveness, lies, love, peace, places we were loved, sorrow, story, trouble, truth, war

from these pieces
will they ever
understand the way we were
all this fighting over nothing
will they wonder –
what was for
of the buried
of the broken
will the weary
be misled
when moss is
grown around us –
will they deem our savior dead
will they shake their heads
in questioning
of when and why we came –
and gather near our remnants
to worry o’er each name
rewritten there
committed every discontent
to stone
for stories unremembered
but to these who weep alone
will our beauty
be forgotten
by a world who never knew
the ways we came
to understand
the mystery of truth

. . .

never less ~

02 Tuesday Feb 2021

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, spirituality

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

bliss, connection, dreams, faith, fearless, forgiveness, grace, life, love, poetry, reason, relationship, spirit, truth, understanding, wisdom

in darkest days
we seek the light
which shines eternally
our prayers for grace are answered then
as those I lift for thee

as ageless as the pen to trust
the truth grows ever clearer
returning love to all who love –
and seek to draw it nearer

pages tempted from the past
become my destiny –
each step one closer to the light
where others wait for me

should e’er my name your heart recall
in blood or ink confess –
then I shall love you still the more
and never love you less

. . .

sands of my soul ~

23 Wednesday Sep 2020

Posted by tornadoday in home, Poetry, spirituality

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

age, blessing, closer still, courage, forgiveness, grace, life, love, redemption, still, surrender, time, where you are

when I’ve taken the last
of faith that was given
and turned my back
to the wall –
to wonder how long
this grace
might deliver
when broken each vow
my heart can recall

when I’ve lost
what had saved me –
words where pages lie still
a map once was traced
to the sands of my soul
lest I wander
without want
to be filled

dare me remember
the ways I was carried
and nights I sought peace
in the dark
move me to center
align me with light –
so that grace
seeks to find me
no matter how far

. . .

moments strung together ~

26 Wednesday Aug 2020

Posted by tornadoday in home, Poetry, spirituality

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

allowance, breath, forgiveness, grace, intent, life, lifetimes, love, moments, seasons, the illusion of letting go, time

were there moments
strung together –
webs between the lights
eternities
we gathered home
to dust

for another
once I wandered
out beyond the sense
of light –
forsaking of the magic
that was us

. . .

lonely to the dark ~

14 Friday Aug 2020

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, spirituality

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

courage, faith, forgiveness, life, love, memory, refuge, soul speak, time, truth

should forgiveness be
the river –
keeping us apart
might words become
a comfort more
than lonely to the dark

empty arms
and sleepless nights –
dreams by shadows filled
windows to another life
beyond this standing still

moments wait
another sun
without the weight of days –
memory denied the fault
that holds the heart
at bay

as silence seeking solace
echoes down the hall –
years have left us
souvenirs –
we can’t reach at all

. . .

want for reasons why ~

31 Friday Jul 2020

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, spirituality

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

acceptance, allowance, faith, flowers, forgiveness, growth, lilies, love, nature, seasons, time, trust, understanding

field of lilies

the winter curse
has almost gone –
as lilies bend around
how soft
their tender petals
brush my toes
lies I spent a lifetime
with want for reasons why
but now the spring
a garden brings –
in color
blooms the snow

. . .

pretty liars ~

04 Thursday Jun 2020

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Rambling

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

confession, forgiveness, it's what I do, just like this, letting go, lies, life, love, lovers, truth becoming, wait, words, writing without rhyme

holythis

I’ve been a saint
been a sinner –
a fury raged
against the page
I’ve found love
and sure forgiveness
suffered me
the will to wait

of all the others
come before you –
count me blind
I’ve known my share
of pretty liars
so familiar –
enough to bury
deep somewhere

. . .

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