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tornadoday

~ …might I be found in words I leave behind

tornadoday

Tag Archives: loss

these days ~

31 Thursday Dec 2020

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Rambling, spirituality

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

2020, heart, home, learning, life, loss, love, spirit, story, unremembered

I’ve lost track
and recollection
of where I left my keys –
and just last night
I realized I’d forgotten
how to dream
so much
we’ve forsaken
is remembered not the same
the winds are turning
but they still know
my name
I listen for the nightbirds –
so much sweeter than the news
reminding me of other times
and how it hurts to lose
everything I surely needed
like those keys
like my heart
like places we’ve forgotten
how to start

. . .

not yet written to my soul ~

11 Wednesday Nov 2020

Posted by tornadoday in home, Poetry, spirituality, verse

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

destiny, faith, grief, loss, memory, prayer, reminders, season, stars, time, truth

who will grieve
my going
who will make the bed –
or worry for a season
to things I should
have said

who will speak
my name aloud –
o’er rivers deep and cold
in places not yet written
to my soul

with promise cleft
by secrets sworn
beneath a jealous moon –
when first I died
ten thousand deaths
for you

who will weep
who will pray –
for moments almost come
for sunlight
where the night has been
for stars who mourn
alone

. . .

a moment more for me ~

03 Thursday Sep 2020

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Rambling, spirituality

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

blessings, comfort, dreams, home, life, light, loss, love, promise, remembering, spirit, truth

when I’ve forgotten
will you promise
to carry all I love
into another day –
another life

when I’ve let the image go
of the oak
outside my door –
the smell of wood smoke
drifting through the pines

will you carry
will you tarry –
a moment more for me
when I’ve forsaken
every proof
of time

will you reminisce
as I have now –
on places I was loved
on dreams
I hope you dream
enough to find

a place apart
from everything –
a light where there are none
solace in these
memories
of mine

. . .

assumption ~

Featured

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Rambling, spirituality

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

home, hope, life, loss, love, memory, rambling, rural, truth, wandering

look for me here_edited

would that you knew me
one night on the run –
out past the place fences
were strung
out past the memory
of all we’ve become –
tis a place
you knew me this way

as light
through a bonnet of cedar
and vine –
beckoning planets
the color of jade
bound us together
beyond what was lost –
tears fell a river
of rain

ribbons and lace
the burden of grace –
cigarettes burned down
the barn
dare my assumption
for all I held dear –
as near to my heart
once the stars

. . .

touch divine ~

01 Wednesday Apr 2020

Posted by tornadoday in a time for telling, Poetry, spirituality

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

covid-19, gratitude, loss, love, reminders, social distancing, soul, spirit, time, touch, truth

follow
broken now
a promise meant
for ears not one can hear
for moments spread
across the gift of time
weaved into another
this fragile love
to know
ashes fall
as tears betray
the loss
of touch
divine
. . .

heaven has forgotten us ~

28 Tuesday May 2019

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Rambling, spirituality, Storytelling

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

and still I would, angels, faith, forgiveness, grief, longing, loss, love, shadow, sorrow, story, time, trust, truth, understanding

home

morning waits
to fill the ache –
where once I held your heart
shadows cleft between
the dusk and day
reminders of my sorrow –
threads I’ve pulled apart
memories
to keep my dreams
awake

verses tend
my longing –
as curses rise to fall
photographs of photographs
a promise yet unmade
what heaven
has forgotten us
moments spent this way –
near enough to witness
the loss
of yesterday

. . .

O, mary….

19 Saturday Jan 2019

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, spirituality

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

a light on the porch, a place for us, all I know of living, always we begin, loss, love, lover, mary oliver, pieces of me, poetry, teacher

She lived well. She loved well. And in the wake of her living, words remain 💚

nothing ~

28 Friday Dec 2018

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, spirituality, Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

grace, home, life, loss, love, memory, soul, time, truth, understanding, value, wealth

angel 300

beyond the ache of evening tide
beyond the pull of morning
daylight wakes with one more thing to say
all we had was everything
all we lost – was nothing
the earth is dipped against the moon
the soul into the bay

. . .

still ~

11 Tuesday Dec 2018

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, spirituality, Storytelling

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

endearing, faith, family, grief, life, loss, love, mourning, time, truth, value

day begins at night

Over the last week, I have the experienced the blessing of speaking with two individuals I dearly love about Christmas and also about loss.

I know they are not the only ones who find it difficult to enjoy Christmas due to the weight that is surely heartache.  And while both of these beautiful souls have suffered loss I have not, in other ways I cannot speak clearly of, I lost the same as they, for loss is something we all know. Unfortunately (or fortunately), grief is not a one size fits all thing. It is unique to each of us and the loss is unique to each of us. How we carry it and how it carries us is only ever ours.

For all I know about loss and grief, I know much more about love. I know that love never leaves us, never empties us, and never disappoints us. I’m sure you’re already thinking I don’t know much. But I stick to my belief. Love doesn’t disappoint or leave us, but that doesn’t mean that people don’t/won’t. Love doesn’t fail; people fail. And sometimes in the midst of our grieving or mourning a loss or rejection, we push the thought of love away because to linger with it is too painful, too much of a reminder of our own failures.

But eventually, it is that very love and those very thoughts that heal us, that strengthen us. We may abandon love, but it never abandons us. That which is true doesn’t somehow become less true because we deny it.

I work with a company that handles health insurance and benefits. More than once, I’ve heard from a member who is distraught because data was stored and visible on an ‘ex’. Each time (every time), I laugh to myself at the thought that any of us could ever totally remove someone from the place they held in our hearts, memories, life. It is impossible, as well it should be. I’ve often shared this quote – “The problem with having everything you ever wanted is having everything you once wanted.”

If I ever loved you, I love you still. If I can un-love, then surely I never did.

Love remains whether we want it to or not. It becomes a part of us, changing the ways we navigate life and future relationships. It may evolve or change, but if we allow it to, it becomes the best of who we are and what we know to be true when everything else fails. It becomes the fragile vase we could never put back on the shelf.

So, while Christmas may prove hard for some, take comfort in knowing that another day will come when the memories that torture us will bring us unimaginable joy. We will laugh again! We absolutely will!

This season – this gift – is a time for remembering (even when it hurts) and holding on to that which makes life worth living. We cannot lose it, and it can never lose us.

Let us love and love some more!

. . .

lost to days we never knew ~

13 Thursday Sep 2018

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, spirituality, Storytelling

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

blessings, counting, days, dreams, home, life, loss, love, news, soul, spirit, tears, time

sparse

was another side
of Sunday
when I found your hand
in mine
I was sitting over coffee
with the times
shedding tears for someone else
passed just yesterday
counted well the years
I threw away
a man
without a daughter
a bride denied her groom
a boy
who filled his story
much too soon
orchids bloom for every soul
years beneath the dawn
lost to days
we never knew –
this tearful hour
would come

. . .

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