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tornadoday

~ …might I be found in words I leave behind

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Tag Archives: grief

beyond the firelight ~

03 Tuesday May 2016

Posted by tornadoday in a time for telling, home, Poetry, Storytelling

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

bliss, death, faith, grief, home, joy, lessons, life, love, memory, nature, truth

6471130625_049203d75b_z

If you know me, you’ve come to understand that much of what I believe to be true I learned early, nurtured by love, and surrounded by nature. I rarely read anything without finding another perspective, one in which the lesson is made clearer, sweeter, with a foundation as dear as old roots and ancient stars.

Yesterday, I read something about grief and immediately determined another point of reference (simply of love).

Some of my favorite childhood memories are of camping. Earlier this week, mama and I talked about some of those times, those which are as near today as they were then (close your eyes, brother).

One such endearment lies within the process my mom and dad had for getting us to bed at night. Mom would take us to the bath house earlier in the evening (before dark), and we would return to sit around the fire after supper. As it got later, at some point, daddy would fill a dishpan with warm water and would, one by one, wash our feet and carry us to the tent. What a wonderful memory!

Truly, in retrospect, I’ve come to understand that this was likely an effort to protect the tent from dirty feet…………yet, still……..

The thing I read about grief compared death to the extinguishing a lamp before going to bed. But my immediate point of reference was to nights around the fire. If you’ve been camping, you know that people tend to retire slowly rather than all at once. I recall lying in the tent, listening to conversations taking place around the fire, mesmerized by shadows dancing on the canvas.

What a lovely thought, to think of those who’ve gone on, knowing they are as close as the next room, just beyond the canvas. While we linger around the fire, tending to life, they have retired to dream……….where they wait for us………….

For another dawn, with air so clean it surely is the breath of God, and of bacon frying over an open fire!

. . .

beyond the will
where living still
a fire burns
the brighter

. . .

mesmerized ~

12 Friday Feb 2016

Posted by tornadoday in a time for telling, Poetry

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

bliss, eternal, grief, home, joy, life, longing, love, seeing in the dark, song, sorrow

dreamy

solace
wears a mask of grief
home – a time began
where reaching back
too often
I am found
mesmerized by everything
let my soul embrace
the tender touch
no matter now
how brief

sorrow
knows of other times
of joys
too big
my heart to spare
of wonders
we shall know again –
bliss (o sweet)
forever shared

evening
sits in shadow
where once the morning
sun
was burned
love remains
the proof of life –
beyond the still
a moment
yearned

. . .

every please ~

05 Monday Oct 2015

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

acceptance, becoming, beginning, death, forever, grace, grief, home, life, love, reminders, soul, truth, unremembering

recalledandthen

there are none
the same as I
lovers knitted close
met with ancient
whispers
in the dark
when want
for one more daylight
morning
to confess
fingers weave
in sacred reverie
prayer infused
with promises
holding you this way
once more
let me answer
every please
remain
return
remember
when life is surely gone
carry there my name
on silent lips
let the door be opened
wherein my heart
is kept
free the night
to sail beyond
the pines

. . .

evergreen ~

10 Monday Aug 2015

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

acceptance, blessings, divine, forgiveness, gifts, giving, grace, grief, healing, introspection, joys, loss, love, meek, nothing more than this, seasons, time, truth

 

knowmenow

As of late, I’ve been criticized for being distant, quiet, unavailable, aloof, and downright selfish.

My southern grace pushes me to apologize, but the part that is protective of me – my hurts, my heart, my silence – doesn’t feel the need to say I’m sorry, for fear it will be seen as an opening door – an unwelcome intrusion into the private world that is me.

Experience has shown me that it is a fragile line which divides time I need for myself and time I gladly sacrifice for others. Perhaps that’s why it’s so noticeable, since most of my time is spent on the sacrifice side of the fence.

Years ago, I was going through a rather traumatic time, and I didn’t share it with my family. Some likely saw that as selfish, and yet, it was a difficult period and my focus needed to be on myself. I’m certain (still) that if I had shared it with others, my role would have changed into being one to helping them to get through it. It’s also possible that the shift in focus would have been good for me, even if it came with the cost of certain burden.

Sometimes (selfish or not), it has to be about me. And sometimes, it is in these times that I realize those who love me most – those who allow me whatever I need (even – and especially when – it is at odds with what they would prefer).

Thank you for allowing me the gift of oneness, the sweet rapturous void of nothing…….. ❤

what time remains
as once we gathered
shadows of the sun
hands were folded
soft into
dreams we dared become
a fallen spark
of ancient light
some other
might have been
moments held
within the space
of one

evergreen
and miles to go
home before we knew
a garden bloomed
from seeds
of yesterday
a path
not one remembers
a distant
passing through
remains the same
as these we loved
blessings to repay

nights beyond
when all I dreamed
was you

. . .

the want for stars ~

19 Tuesday May 2015

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

acceptance, age, angels, divine this, forgiveness, gratefulness, grief, home, loss, love

whereIamknown

am I the proof
of sanity
and someone’s need for
closure
the want for stars
when all the night
is numb

to wishes
where our horses lay
wheat a shade
of pale
a mirror posed beneath
the starting now

am I the proof
of mysteries –
quite well though some
have said
remember where
and when
our fortune turned

loss into forgiveness
sorrow into bliss
reminders of
a prayer –
and I
the proof

. . .

Q ~

30 Thursday Apr 2015

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

always, beauty, blessings, bliss, eternity, friendship, grief, joy, life, love, presence, Q, spirit, Susan Q. Fults, truth

fromheretohome

in the gracious greys
of just before
sunlight spills the dawn
darkness pulls
his tender heart
to mine
silence rings
with angels
rafters bend and sway
heaven wanders
not so far –
not so far away
from evermore returning
words without a sound
to grieve ten thousand
mornings
with a sigh
love is but a moment
of light before
the dawn
a dream denied
the safety
of the night

Author’s Note: As the result of an ectopic pregnancy in 1984 , she required
a blood transfusion. It saved her life, but took something in return.

Testing wasn’t the norm, and she contracted Hepatitis C.  It would
not relent, and claimed permanence via liver cancer in 2012. This weekend,
hospice was called in.

She waits, and those who love her pray for a miracle. And yet,
already she is one. For Q with love always.

. . .

listen ~

29 Sunday Mar 2015

Posted by tornadoday in Rambling

≈ 25 Comments

Tags

becoming, conscious consciousness, death, faith, forgiveness, grace, gravel roads, grief, healing, knowledge, life, memory, old maps, passion, poetry, restless, sorrow, star crossed, strength, truth, understanding, wandering

rememberedhere

on this sweltering dawn
I stand barefoot on a narrow step
looking out through eyes
blurred by emotion
seeking an unknown part of my past
a place I must have known
would find me here
with no one yet to answer
but for me
the purple buds are tempted
another week to stay

sorrow comes easily
as in the counting still –
of friends he seems
more willing than the rest
to listen as my heart concedes
I knew not when to break
or what of verses now
would yesterday
forsake

silent
raindrops
will comfort me now
a hundred times – of listening
volumes unconfessed
across a missing
separated –
mourning
words of love

how long this day
in coming
was there time before this loss
I can finally begin to recite
in an almost whisper
ten thousand volumes
of verse I never shared
and let my heart beat steadily
the celestial rhythms
of mourning
and show you the depths –

sentiment
hidden for the lifetime
that has separated us

. . .

we carry ~

05 Monday May 2014

Posted by tornadoday in a time for telling, Storytelling

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

becoming, breath, connection, death, faith, family, fearless, grace, grief, knowledge, living, loss, love, memory, old maps, passion, reason, relationship, resurrection, seasons, spirit, truth, understanding, value

whereIamOur days are spotted by loss and grief……….and a world of well-meaning people who pat us on the back and tell us ‘everything will be okay’. And surely it will, but it will not be the same. I feel sad for the soul who doesn’t understand – that some hurts aren’t meant to scab over. I have lost many who I loved deeply, and I’ve yet to find any other person who could perfectly fit into the place left by another. It cannot be done, and it shouldn’t be. Our healing isn’t about getting us back to ‘normal’; it’s about learning how to live (to love) even when much of who we are seems to have been lost.

In times of great sorrow, my only joy seemed in the moments just after waking, a time when I could almost convince myself that it was all a dream. But over time, I found another joy – an almost secret knowledge – that I’ve not lost a one. I sit cross-legged on the floor with a cup of coffee by shear habit, a nature……..and yet, my grandmother is there. I laugh and beneath the squealing pitch of a little girl, the timber that is my grandpa’s voice. My granny lifts the cup to her lips, with pinkie extended just so……..and more than once, I’ve felt the calm reassurance of my uncle’s hand at the small of my back. Some store away treasure in cedar, but the real treasure is that which we carry – all who have loved us, in us, still.

If we know heartbreak, then we must also know love. If loss, then surely abundance. Joy sits many a night on the same bed as once we mourned. Our ability to hurt, to break, to fall……there are blessings unaware, reminders of the times we laughed, danced, and soared. Always, we are blessed. Let us not forget the letting in letting go.

❤

stay
that I might tell you
of times before the fall
for prehistoric winters
might I grieve

the leaving
for the welcome back
poetry you wrote
now again
a promise to believe

verses of surrender
confession
heard the same
as ancient constellations
to pretend

the path
was never easy
as getting back to one
a forest grew
to block the view
again

held me here
one faraway
decision to return
across a sky of blue
another day

slipped
into the ocean
embrace of waking arms
as breezes come
to carry me
away

❤

the verse that was my name ~

22 Saturday Feb 2014

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, verse

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

connection, destiny, faith, family, grace, grief, knowledge, living, love, memory, old maps, reason, relationship, sing me to home, spirit, spirituality, steph, strength, truth, understanding, value

samebutnot

hold me now
within the safe
where once
I lay my head
listening
as whispers
sang me home

reminders
I’ve forgotten
the verse
that was my name
a memory
is all we wrote
of time

beyond the last
another breath –
a garden
once we knew
seeds are bound
to blossom
come the spring

. . .

Author’s Note:  For a dear friend.  May love rush into the shallows
of your sorrow.

comes a time ~

20 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

adjusting, becoming, connection, conscious consciousness, destiny, dreams, faith, family, forgiveness, grace, gravel roads, grief, hope, knowledge, life, living, love, old maps, passion, reason, seeing in the dark, spirit, strength, truth, understanding, value, wisdom

morningstar

When comes a time
there are no words –
no solace left to offer
tears have turned
to ashes on the lawn.

Life begins
anew to bloom –
with memory of winter
stars will shine
much brighter
come the dawn.

…

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Poetic Thoughts

Benjamin Grossman

Starry-eyed Writer, Cautious Philosopher, Hopeful Romantic

Discover WordPress

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

Walt's Writings

Poetry about Life, Love, Music by Walt Page, The Tennessee Poet

Silent Fingers

~ journey of a rose scented ink ~

houseofheartweb.wordpress.com/

ithoughtyouwerejoking.wordpress.com/

Exploring the epiphany

Seasonings

Just a little poetry...

Revelation

MyWorldsInWords

View my worlds

yelena's poetry

Now & Then

The fears of a girl, the heart of a woman, and everything inbetween...

Blonde in Flares

Flared and prepared.

Ziyaad poet

Just a cup of poetry and cookies

The Reluctant Poet

A Discovery of Enlightening Insights, Information, Humor, Writings and Musings

Dr. Eric Perry’s Blog

Motivate | Inspire | Uplift

Broken roads of Destiny

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” — Maya Angelou

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Thoughts and feelings made into words about the world and times in which we live ...

Randomreasoning

Making a connection when everything is connected

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