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tornadoday

~ …might I be found in words I leave behind

tornadoday

Tag Archives: belonging

safe within the arms of home ~

06 Wednesday Jan 2021

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, spirituality

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

belonging, home, life, love, patience, the way, time, trust, truth

I’ve not the heart
to wager –
or strength for compromise
no easy path
to places we belong
stay with me
lay with me
ferry me the night
til I am safe
within the arms
of home
wrapped in sheets
of ivory –
saved for just this once
to wake
beyond the dream
we waited on

. . .

lest I break ~

11 Monday May 2020

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Rambling, spirituality

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

a jealous moon, belonging, dreams, life, love, missing, moments, morning, spirit, time

onceuponame

dare I wake
the memory –
was just a dream away
so real
my body trembles
in its wake

lest I break apart
with want for more
than air
when stumbled
on the day –

and you’re not
there

dare the sun
another rise –
the stars
a deeper sky
dare the moon
be jealous
of the night

. . .

worth worrying about ~

14 Monday Jan 2019

Posted by tornadoday in Rambling, spirituality, Storytelling, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

ascension, beginnings, belonging, bliss, choice, home, life, love, mystery, remembrance, seasons, truth

country lifeIt was a long weekend. Or, should I say it was a long Sunday. Due to some changes with our healthcare provider, we had a large group of individuals who were reflected as being terminated when they weren’t. To be honest, I am still in shock at the number of individuals who apparently visit the pharmacy every weekend.

But I also took my baby sister to the ER with anxiety, breathing, dizziness symptoms. I’m sure it’s not unusual to spend two hours just waiting in the ER, but eventually she was seen and sent home. We still aren’t sure what was wrong, and we may never know. It can be chalked up to ‘just one of those things’ or even a fine blend of Zyrtec, Flonase and mid-age weariness.

Regardless, Monday morning was busy before I left home with checking in, giving updates and juggling emails. I was so very grateful that I draw a line when it comes to driving and refuse to answer emails when stopped at traffic lights.

Instead, it was filled with reflection and introspection – about what I’m doing and what I’m not (or not doing enough).

I thought of how much I would prefer (even at this later time in my life) the things I rejected earlier in my life. I wanted for the little town with the bigger heart, people who I knew the same as my own hand, worry for the few things worth worrying about. I contemplated what it would be like to work at the hometown grocery store, or restocking cards at the only card shop in town. I fantasized about evening bond fires and weekend card games; fishing lines and flannel shirts; feather beds and catfish fries; weekends at the lake; pancake breakfasts and quilting circles.

I imagined a breadth of friends that would know everything about me, and love me (still). Friends who share their best recipes and spare bedrooms; who know the real difference between listening and hearing; friends eager to spend a Saturday morning picking blackberries, shopping at the nearest second-hand store, laughing as we gobble down a second serving of french toast, or crying over a movie we’ve seen twenty times.

Late nights with no make-up; mornings with no schedule to keep.

There’s another life out there; one with a smaller price tag. Sure – I won’t make as much, but it will cost me less – less of what matters; less of my years; less of whatever time I have left to spend.

I may be a long way from that leap, but I’m much closer to realizing there is one to be made – and of a life that surely exists beyond the fall.

in spite of time
my aching rests
with want for one last summer
one late July
you wanted me
I lived beyond the fire
dancing
when the party ended
backward to your arms
forward into all
the grace
you are

. . .

a season saved for mary ~

17 Monday Dec 2018

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, spirituality, Storytelling

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

belonging, blessings, choirs, Christ, christmas, journey, joys, love, praise, redemption, sacred intimacy, savior, the price for me

professing love for me_edited

what of words
one blessing fails –
a choir can hardly sing
to tell of grace
in all I’ve known –
a loving solstice
brings

as voices blend
in whispering –
the ransom of my will
to a season saved for mary
candles reaching –
higher still

red and virgin
blossoms bleed
beneath an old and crooked tree
verses of ten thousand psalms
– professing love
for me

I wonder
though not so often
how sweetly the path was grown
another way
from all I dreamed –
returns my soul
to home

. . .

a fence I cannot own ~

13 Friday Apr 2018

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

belonging, breath, divine intimacy, life, love, moments, soul, time, togetherness

prepared

I have no need
for promise –
words without the strength for this
a vow unspoken
whispered into pillows
when I’m missed
a call across the orchard
let the willing heart remain
without the want
for yesterdays –
when welcomed home again
a porch that needs repairing
a fence I cannot own
vines a verse becoming
streams of marigold
pull me back
a lazy hawk
where sunday morning glows
arms to reach around me
another hand
to hold

. . .

oak ~

26 Friday Jan 2018

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Storytelling

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

beginning, belonging, comfort, life, love, meditation, nature, prayer, seeing in the dark, solace, solitude

friend

plant me
in the warmest spot
where sunlight spills to earth
face me north
and spread my branches
wide
sing that I might
recognize
the ancient rites of wind
that I might feel
the whispers
sweet glad tidings
of the night

snare me
with your ribbons
your cares of yesterday
keep me
as the place you come
to pray
in silence
let me witness
the musings of your soul –
dress me up
with stories
never told

share me
with rememberings
of once a noontide kiss
a late night tear
when no one knew
to listen
a moonlight dance
of sweet embrace
welcoming your sighs
as branches bent
to shield you
from the echoes
of goodbye

. . .

softened by stone ~

11 Wednesday Nov 2015

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

assurance, belonging, blessings, eternal, life, love, moments, seeing in the dark, time, together

recalledandthen

11/11/2015
5:21 AM

lace
tells a story
you already know
when night wraps
her empty
around

odd sets of linen
softened by stone
are stored
with the rest
remember

silence so sweet
no words could compare
touching on places
left of us
there

flannel I bought
the same thread of grey
as your eyes
a river
destinies trade
for moments
belonging
like the hush of my name

whispered
somewhere
tonight
cotton worn through
by yesterday’s prayer
love
unimagined
by lace

. . .

the reach of remember ~

08 Sunday Nov 2015

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

belonging, grace, home, love, nature, seeing in the dark, together

cover5

in the chill
of just before
awake to the morning
a white autumn swirl
was given to song
and drifted beyond
the reach of remember
to a place
I was once –
I belong

. . .

nmw ~

29 Thursday May 2014

Posted by tornadoday in a time for telling, Poetry, Rambling

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

assurance, belonging, connection, faith, family, fearless, forgiveness, grace, home, knowledge, life, love, old maps, passion, reason, relationship, southern, spirit, spirituality, strength, truth, two the same, understanding, value, wisdom

Recently, a few friends and I were sharing concern for another – one who seems to struggle from time to time, and who, as a rule, is surrounded by drama. In developing a plan to help, we lamented over possible causes. For surely, any work on a fix without understanding seemed futile.

At one point, my sister brought to attention something we had not considered.nearertoheaven

He has a great job, and a great wife. I’m sure he has many friends, but I wonder how strong the nets.

The result was a discussion about ‘no matter what’ relationships; those that endure regardless of time, circumstance, or the number of times someone says (or doesn’t say) “I love you”. I reflected that I have numerous friends, and we each depend on the assurance of our friendship – one that ‘you couldn’t mess up if you wanted to’. My sister calls those the ‘end of the day’ anchors – the knowledge that regardless of what the day brings, at the end of the day, we have each other. I’m one of her anchors, and she one of mine.

Later, when I thought about this, I realized the worth of that talk in helping our friend.

At the same time, I realized I’ve never been without such anchors; so that it is somewhat difficult for me to imagine an existence without them. And yet, my students struggle with something as simple as providing references, because they’ve burned all those bridges, and in some cases, severed the cords that tied them to love and a ‘no matter what’ place.

For those without such assurance, I can only imagine the feeling of loss. But then again, how do you miss something you never had?

I’ve long suspected drama as a means for pulling people to you (even if unintentional). Maybe, at our core, we do realize something is missing; we just don’t have a name for it.

I think I was like most kids growing up, in that I saw every family the same as mine. It was not until much later that I found that not to be the case. I recall a friend whose parents were divorced, and I envied her freedoms. Not until recently did I learn how she envied me for having parents who worried when I was late, someone whose permission I needed ask. My friend – she’s another ‘no matter what – end of day’ part of all I know of truth.  Attachment?  You bet.  ❤

Even now, if leaving my parents for home, I call to report when I’ve arrived safely. The anchor they provided me is the same one I offer them now. Not a day starts for me without a text from my brother and my sisters….a reminder of what I know already – that I am loved – no matter what.

Take away my clothing, my earrings, my favorite homemade apple butter.  Take it all, and still I am rich, for that which simply is, that which waits while I sleep.

Without these scarlet cords, what would I be? A ship in the darkness, a kite without a tender hand to guide.

whatever this
a stillness warmed
by all I know to be –
words are not yet formed
for love I feel
floats within
these precious seas
tis more to breath
than blood –
more to fate than scars
a lantern held aloft
beside the stars

. . .

even then ~

09 Saturday Nov 2013

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

belonging, connection, destiny, fearless, forgiveness, grace, graces, growth, knowledge, life, love, old maps, passion, reason, relationship, seasons, spirit, spirituality, time, truth, understanding, value, wandering

Romance

can we ever be sure
of reasons
returned –
or how sweetly
the shape of love can
become
a place we were going
miles past the end
where the road
ran in circles
and we laughed
even then
as we stooped to pick
flowers
we planted the spring
and sat in the shade
of our once
everything

. . .

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