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tornadoday

~ …might I be found in words I leave behind

tornadoday

Tag Archives: missing

beyond your name ~

24 Thursday Sep 2020

Posted by tornadoday in home, Poetry, spirituality, verse

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

easy as I, home, letting go, life, love, missing, poetry, that thing I do with a pen, time, touch

sometimes it hurts
more than words –
than e’er a poem
would want confess
I find a joy
in grieving
that moves my soul to rest
to say goodbye
letting go
but for my heart
I might be gone
down the ways
beyond your name
beyond the pull of home
beyond the want
of evermore –
the memory of touch
leaves are falling
storm clouds
into dust

. . .

a story never yours ~

17 Monday Aug 2020

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, spirituality

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

another me, kiss, life, love, memory, missing, spirit, story, time, truth

I’ve heard tell
you can’t go back
to a place beyond remembrance –
a story never yours
never will

I cheated
each surrender –
sometimes without regard
to worlds I left
another
standing still

with fortunes
undecided
by a kiss I scarce recall
– a jealous moon
seeks payment
for a kiss

I am all
as I am nothing
lines across your brow –
a moment spared
for every one
I missed

. . .

lest I break ~

11 Monday May 2020

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Rambling, spirituality

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

a jealous moon, belonging, dreams, life, love, missing, moments, morning, spirit, time

onceuponame

dare I wake
the memory –
was just a dream away
so real
my body trembles
in its wake

lest I break apart
with want for more
than air
when stumbled
on the day –

and you’re not
there

dare the sun
another rise –
the stars
a deeper sky
dare the moon
be jealous
of the night

. . .

almost might have been ~

30 Tuesday Apr 2019

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Rambling, spirituality

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

acceptance, another ending to the story, death, faith, grief, human condition, life, love, missing, seasons, time, truth, understanding

leaving

I’ve no right
for speaking –
no welcome invitation
I wonder even this
would you allow
a moment left
beyond the reach
of reaching all the time
might save my soul
from grieving –
to feel the same again
let me tell the story
as it almost
might have been
let this one confession
free your heart at last
from loving me
believing me –
a vestige from the past
how was I to know
you’d turn the tables
as you have
how was I to know
you’d have to go

. . .

excerpt ~

05 Friday Oct 2018

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Rambling, Storytelling

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

acceptance, autumn, dreams, eternity, gratefulness, home, life, love, memory, missing, october, remembered new, sometimes I don't know why, spirit, time, truth, welcomed

stirring

it was October
when words fell as easy
as leaves letting go
touch burned far deeper
than hands holding so
tears
of sorrow
of gratefulness
merged into a river of living
when she understood
all that she had dared to know
more than a moment
could hold –
a lifetime replaced
by the moist reflection
of love in his eyes
a recollection
she had waited to remember –
how distance wasn’t about miles
or the times between –
but rather a sigh between breaths
eternity passing in the hush
of whispers to hope
in the years to follow
it wasn’t the colors she would recall
or the longing just beneath her skin
it was the sweet perfume
of maple and cedar –
the lingering memory
of home

. . .

love endured the taking back ~

04 Monday Jun 2018

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, spirituality

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

let to leave, life, love, missing, poetry, soul, soul memory, spirit, time, truth, verse, writer

sundayme

when birth became
another time
a parting from the whole –
slant as I from dying
with fissures
to my soul
remembering
another time –
and words I gave for free
another life
was mine to love –
was once
another me

where verses carved
into my heart –
rhyme I scarcely used
love endured
the taking back
another day of you
pages fret forgotten lines
ink – I’m bound to grieve
for moments folded
into life –
truths I willed
believe

. . .

life beyond the leaving ~

06 Tuesday Mar 2018

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Rambling

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

acceptance of something so very far from happiness, alone, divorce, heartbreak, leaving, letting go, life, life beyond the leaving, lonely, loss, love, missing, separateness, sorrow, time, truth

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

how is it
I’ve grown weary
of the way you sip your tea –
the way you smile so unaware
of grief
that anchors me

every day –
in ten thousand ways
tho I cannot tell you why
the nights grow cold –
and I remiss
at telling you goodbye

as it was
before – as cannot be
your hand a comfort then
your voice – a whisper pining
a soulful welcome in

I wonder if you notice
or do you wonder as I do
of life beyond
the leaving –
a barter carried through

has it been years
or more to count
this distance now I feel
words without the strength to speak –
a hurt that will not heal

. . .

Author’s Note: Before you get concerned for me, I feel the need to explain. This isn’t about me, but rather the result of a conversation with a dear friend – one who has stayed beyond the leaving.

by now ~

27 Monday Jun 2016

Posted by tornadoday in a time for telling, Poetry

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

alzheimers, deeper than bones, healing, holding on, life, love, missing, nature, remembrance, safe, truth

Medicine-Woman-Seeking-Solitude-1915-courtesy-Library-of-Congress

You’d think by now
I’d remember…
what words were said (that day)
How many lives
could we have passed
were lost along the way…
I’ve wandered long,
the same back roads
were there before (but when)…
I’ve walked in fields (I know)
where once we loved
(when love began)…

I’ve watched another sky
we watched (was younger then by far)…
Before the whole world watched,
we knew the moon
(we knew the stars)…
Were moments we would lie
awake…(for just a moment more)…
would cling to every
shadow (we became…)

what promise I could make
(I’ve made before)….

For all I know of seasons passed
there’s others I believe…
I may not have the words,
but there is proof…
(I couldn’t leave)…

I have these hands…
you cried into…ten thousand
nights ago…
A world of songs (and I
would always listen)…
(the only) one to know…
between the melodies…
I yearned to hear the lullabye…
the same as mine…
I have the proof
(of reason)….
(here am I)…

Was evermore
I thought had passed…
…mere words (it seems) have not…

…you’d think by now
I’d remember….(this)
what my soul
has ne’er forgot…

Another moon…
another lifetime (pulled away)…
will then I search for
evidence…
these paths (I recognize)…
a somewhere (soon)
as words became..
the least of love (to prove)
will then I find (as I have now)
the truth…within
your eyes….

Author’s Note: I feel some sense of obligation to note the
inspiration for this piece. I visited with a family member recently
who suffers from Alzheimers. Although there are many whom
should be remembered, at times they are not. Yet, without exception,
and for reasons previously unclear, I am received with
a warm and genuine smile.

I do not believe that it is my physical presence that
causes such a response….rather, I believe it is a recognition
of love. I may live long past my dearest memories, but know
I will (always) recognize love….

a little ~

09 Monday Nov 2015

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

acceptance, beauty, becoming, blessings, conscious consciousness, creation, destiny, dreams, grace, light, love, missing, nature, seasons, timing

toloveyoumore

twas late
for the season
berries and passion
before e’er another
conceived us to be
where the sweet
lull of lavender wafted
the summer
well past the turning
of (wishes to) leaves
when dragons hummed
at the mention of dark
louder than any
were known to recall
honeybee sunsets
cicadas when all we were
wanting was some
other reason to count
without counting
back (missing)
the swell of July
and the bittersweet
sting of blackberry
why did you go
when knowing I’d grieve
you (a little) this way
or write to your
wanting
(some other one day)
when honeysuckle
bloomed past the edges
of june
(unashamed of her
timing) –
her wasted perfume

. . .

forgotten to be ~

11 Wednesday Jun 2014

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Storytelling

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

bliss, connection, conscious consciousness, faith, family, grace, gravel roads, knowledge, life, living, love, memory, missing, old maps, passion, presence, reason, relationship, restless, spirit, strength, understanding, value, woman

fallingwishes

of places
they know you –
I so rarely go
for fear
they might mention
your name

and stand around
talking –
while dinner gets cold
lulled by the fusion
of luna to flame

by fate’s
intervention –
the illusion of time
– and clothes I don’t wear
anymore

dreams
are made less
by the way they must sound
when told by another
we knew
from before

when nights
glowed fluorescent
with stardust as dew
a faraway presence –
of light
shining through

will see me in ways
I’ve forgotten to be –
held by a smile
on its way back
to you

. . .

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