best ever ~

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Just this week, a friend told me of the start of a new tradition within her family wherein each member shared their best Christmas memory. Even in recounting the experience, tears filled her eyes as she spoke of her own, and those shared by others. There were moments of sorrow and others sweeterstillof pure joy, but eventually, they all became the best memory ever.

How is it that we’ve forgotten that? To know that every sorrow wears a coat of joy, and every bliss is but a warning of grief – a missing of the sweetest part? And yet, when measured into the same overflowing cup, they become the best – again and again.

She asked to my best memory ever and I think (partially) it was dislodged from my heart by her telling, but it is one of joy and family……….the best ever still.

Tho we didn’t know it at the time, we weren’t rich. My family of six lived in a two bedroom trailer until I was twelve. Then we moved into a castle of three bedrooms….. 🙂 The memory recalled is from the ‘castle’. Every Saturday was the same. One by one, my brother and sisters would wake for some reason and make our way to my parent’s room, my parent’s bed. Until we were all there, telling our dreams, torturing and tickling, and eventually deciding on breakfast.

But Christmas was another such time. My brother (who by virtue of the fact that he was the only son, had his own bedroom) would sleep in the girl’s room. We’d all pile into one big bed (or it seemed big at the time – tho I suspect it was no more than a full-size). I’m not sure we slept at all, but during the night, with every little squeak or bending of board, we’d speculate that Santa had come around. My brother was the designated outlook for us, and he would sneak down the hall to spy on the living room………and then run back to the safety of us to report. There was no understanding that it had to be five o’clock before we could get up. The only restriction was that we couldn’t get up before Santa had arrived.

closerYears later, I have heard stories of how long it took to get all the presents under the tree*. Between wrapping, assembling, and playing with all the toys – it was their joy we were most anticipating I think. Even now, at Christmas, I imagine the sound of little boy feet running down the hall…….. ‘he’s here, he’s here’………..

Let us keep Christmas forever in our tiny hearts, remembering things little as big. Let us keep love through the sharing of stories – creating anew every best memory.

* My Chatty Cathy doll was almost worn out before Christmas, and a promise to get a kitten for my sister resulted in an unexpected run to the country – and a cat that nearly brought my dad to stitches.  In the telling, even more sweet beautiful tears.  My dad comments, ‘we didn’t know just how good we had it’….  Then he winks, ‘yeah, we knew’……..

wake me home
some other year –
beyond this life surrendered
fall to me the places
I have known –
save for me
a little room
with not much more
for leaving –
arms to fill
wake me now
to home

. . .

Author’s Note:  One of my favorite reposted as a reminder.

freed ~

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thepresent

Maybe it’s the rush that is the season, but lately, I’m more and more reminded of the present that is the present.

A friend recently commented that her goal for 2018 was to be wherever her feet were – to be grounded in the now – looking nither forward or back but only to this ‘perfect’ moment – free from the boundaries and ultimate limitations inherent with the others.

As expected, it got me thinking about the present and how wisely (or not) we spend our moments. I’ll readily admit that I love talking about the past. Not in the sense that I speak of it with regret or sorrow, but as part of the larger story – perhaps the place we began, though it might not have appeared so at the time.

The stories are what define us, help us to grow, and in sharing those, we allow others a part of us that exists (like the present) beyond the grasp of past or future.  In my humble opinion, there is no relationship nor circumstance that cannot be made better by four simple words – tell me a story.  In the sharing, the present becomes greater than the depth of a moment, a season, a lifetime.

Of times I spent with my daddy, the gift of being present rewarded me with amazing treasures – parts of him. There were stories I had heard before, but others, I had not. The same is true of my visits with mama. From an ordinary conversation about fishing comes a story I didn’t know.

When she was pregnant with me, she couldn’t work in her daddy’s cafe. Yet, there were days when he needed fish for the restaurant and he took her with him. That part of the story is sweet enough, but there is another part. Because she was expecting, there were times when she grew nauseous or tired. He carried a blanket with him so that she could nap in the bottom of the boat while he fished.

I love that story……a piece of my grandfather who died a month before I was born. A piece of my mother, and a piece of me.

And now, in another way, perhaps a piece of you too.

I never tire the revelation, of the insight into all that matters. When faced with a grieving friend, the simple words, ‘tell me a story about her’ (or him) is enough to alter perspective, allowing us a shared place of memory, intimacy, solace and connection.

In our stories, we are at once a hero and immortal. Where the story remains, so our name, repeated long past the expanse of either past or future.

So, tell me………

when last I dreamed
I lay awake
and wandered unto home
the safe and sweet
embrace
once was you
tell me now
some other time
of who you are
and why
you knew my name
before I thought
to love

. . .

eulogy ~

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surrenderme

what silent
loneliness could steal
the mysteries of life
solitude
where joys are known to play
who says we shan’t remember
or think beyond
to this
another time
some other sunny day
for all is well
we carry on
and take with us
our lowly best
of love we’ve given
love we’ve known
our eulogy –
our rest

. . .

rhyme ~

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aroundagain

today I found another
note –
a reminder tucked away
beneath the eaves
flat against the wall
amazing how
the weather turned
but not a line
was lost
to autumn’s beating branches
winter’s silent fall

I wonder
as the ancient west
spins to dark again
will there we meet anew
some other time
daring in our fearlessness
to write our names
as one –
easing as a season
into rhyme

. . .

ebb and tide ~

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somewhere storming

hope was born on a windy day
at two p.m.
your sudden smile
illuminated the fog
of my ailing soul
heartache was an ever darkening bruise
that starlight could never heal…
your words still try to work miracles
but you disappear as often
as moonlight on a stormy night
and through the ebb and tide of my need
you ride the waves of my salvation
like a pirate
caught between lust for rich horizons
and a part-time philosopher
in love with ideals

. . .

permission ~

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beforethis

11/20/2017
6:13 AM

the evening hums
with the wisdom of age
lines before lines
rubbed away
case in point being
the ways that we loved
when wishes
yet sparkled
a half dusted sky
with promise of someday
another to find
resolved every kiss –
permission divine
every vow
a moment was made
unconfessed
as a dream became
somewhere
we loved before this

. . .