enough ~

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enough
to make me teary –
these solitary lines
where names fall sweet
before the hurting starts
enough
I’ve begged
forget me –
let the souvenirs
be burned
and yet I know
I can’t reclaim my heart

tis crushed
into the circles
where’re your fingers touch
and ground into the webs
around your eyes
inked into a memory
of ten thousand yesterdays
golden as our last
the first sunrise

smoke rings
mark an evening red
with the scent
of winter hay
I locked the gate
but pray you took your key
folded with a promise
and tucked inside your shirt
familiar as the path
come back to me

. . .

given wings ~

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beyond this restlessness
I feel –
there lies with you
a solace
of solitude perceived
but few can say
how many times
your name was called
but not a sound was heard
as whispers of a songbird
never sang

if ever you should wonder
where on earth
I’ve come to be –
when given wings
which way the winds to blow
where were you
when I was lost –
to lay my body down
and begged your spirit
come –
as one to know

where to light
another night –
scattered thoughts to fade
flush the edges
first for one more time
as made for us
a place apart –
shall call this dreamer home
across a page
and given none to
rhyme

the same as then
you are at last –
my seasons soft returning
red and yellow leaves
as love to will
quiet as a Sunday morn
warm as July nights
if ever life is come
my breath to still

. . .

poet ~

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was a lover
trading verse for time
a poet without want
for rhyme
a keeper
born of whispers
few can understand
how it is the night pretends
to know
how it is
reason fails
to justify her love
the pain that comes of dying
with nothing left to say
how it is light returns
just when it seems a loss
to gift her time
she thought was burned
away

. . .

bound to story –

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when from our dreams
wisdom comes
life to empty shelves
a blessing to the seeker
with want
for something else

leather cords
and parchment sleeves
are poor disguise for truth
when given place –
a willing page or two

purpose bound to story
has suffered long the pen
as lifetimes passed
with will to wake
again

who for this
was meaning sought
line by precious line
what sweet desire
awaited us
this time

. . .

never less ~

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in darkest days
we seek the light
which shines eternally
our prayers for grace are answered then
as those I lift for thee

as ageless as the pen to trust
the truth grows ever clearer
returning love to all who love –
and seek to draw it nearer

pages tempted from the past
become my destiny –
each step one closer to the light
where others wait for me

should e’er my name your heart recall
in blood or ink confess –
then I shall love you still the more
and never love you less

. . .

as it has been ~

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do you miss the ache
of my hand in yours
another day –
my head against your heart
when darkness falls
unwilling
to the soul that waited long
will you feel my love
settled with you
there

as more than touch
more than breath returning
more than words
rewritten to your skin
wherever time
was promised
let it be as it has been
a place
where love remembered
wakes again

feel the warmth
this tender ache
my hand within your hand
a falling rain
of memories persist
where once
is still –
a dream recalled
my head against your heart
awaiting us a lifetime
such as this

. . .

still –

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of the ways I came
and here before –
you waited my arrival
kept the candle lit
beyond the cursing sun
wishing now
a welcome home
without the need for blaming
without the want to understand
the reason I was gone

no want for tears
we gave them all
and kicked the boards
for crying –
swore to never love
if love were true
passed a night (or more than one)
without a word between us –
spent the chill of winter
wide awake
and back to back

I wondered
as to moments –
longest time
til I would go –
how much of this
was more than fate –
to prove it wasn’t easy
years from love we loved
before the first
we came too late

straight back chairs
empty lockets –
swore the stars to secret
I left a crumpled note
beneath the bed
planted corn between the
vines –
and waited yellow roses
marked the ways
you knew me
one by lonely one

. . .

to grieve the same ~

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Today’s devotion was one that I needed (tho I find I need almost all of them in some way or another). It was about grief, but not grief in the traditional way you think of it – as grieving over something once had and lost. It was grieving of another kind – grieving for what might have been.

In the devotional, one woman explored her grief for a life that might have been had she not miscarried a child – her life and the child’s. And it made me think to the children I’ve never had, but also to other lives, some lived through word or in memory – but lives I grieve the same.

Take time, wherever you are to think on those things – even if just for today. There’s another life that misses you, other arms that reach out within the silence. Do not dwell in that place for life continues regardless. But it would be a shame to not allow them their space, to allow the tears that you’ve dared to cry alone.

when I’ve forgotten
how it was –
or what of hope allowed
when years have gone
with all I dreamed about
let not my heart
be fractured
along the same sweet lines
where once I loved
my love shall be
in breath –
no longer mine

. . .

rush to silence ~

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daylight
sends a shiver
down my spine –
before I heed the wanting –
to resurrect a dream
twilight
wakes a longing –
where my heart has disappeared
and I am left to grieve
for times
between

I want to
understand –
how it is
you found me here
as paper birds
imagined into flight
as breezes blew
seedlings of a life
before I lived
moments rush to silence
the name you took
last night

. . .