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tornadoday

~ …might I be found in words I leave behind

tornadoday

Tag Archives: sorrow

heaven has forgotten us ~

28 Tuesday May 2019

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Rambling, spirituality, Storytelling

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

and still I would, angels, faith, forgiveness, grief, longing, loss, love, shadow, sorrow, story, time, trust, truth, understanding

home

morning waits
to fill the ache –
where once I held your heart
shadows cleft between
the dusk and day
reminders of my sorrow –
threads I’ve pulled apart
memories
to keep my dreams
awake

verses tend
my longing –
as curses rise to fall
photographs of photographs
a promise yet unmade
what heaven
has forgotten us
moments spent this way –
near enough to witness
the loss
of yesterday

. . .

a moment spared ~

20 Thursday Sep 2018

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, spirituality, Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

acceptance, blessings, choice, faith, forgiveness, growth, happiness, heart, hope, life, light, love, positivity, sorrow, soul, time

hopesanddreams

i’ve made my peace
with living
deciding what to keep
tis love i count
around and ’round
when falling off to sleep

i can’t abide
a moment spared
lest it be divine
i won’t be bent the burden
of truth
that isn’t mine

the day may dawn
tho i don’t see how
for sorrow and regret
let ne’er my tender heart reside
in pain
i’d best forget

what memories
would hurt invade
o’er those most surely blessed
– would cast a shadow
o’er my days
and curse my soul
at rest

. . .

life beyond the leaving ~

06 Tuesday Mar 2018

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Rambling

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

acceptance of something so very far from happiness, alone, divorce, heartbreak, leaving, letting go, life, life beyond the leaving, lonely, loss, love, missing, separateness, sorrow, time, truth

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

how is it
I’ve grown weary
of the way you sip your tea –
the way you smile so unaware
of grief
that anchors me

every day –
in ten thousand ways
tho I cannot tell you why
the nights grow cold –
and I remiss
at telling you goodbye

as it was
before – as cannot be
your hand a comfort then
your voice – a whisper pining
a soulful welcome in

I wonder if you notice
or do you wonder as I do
of life beyond
the leaving –
a barter carried through

has it been years
or more to count
this distance now I feel
words without the strength to speak –
a hurt that will not heal

. . .

Author’s Note: Before you get concerned for me, I feel the need to explain. This isn’t about me, but rather the result of a conversation with a dear friend – one who has stayed beyond the leaving.

none shall keep me ~

02 Friday Mar 2018

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

breath, love, loving it all, seasons, sorrow, time, to feel deeply

follow

of sorrows
none shall keep me long
or barter me
a choice
a way beneath the branches
weaved of briar
lost beneath
the grieving moon
seeking us
sometimes
pulled beyond
the edges
of a memory forgot
spurns the fading twilight
of every
might have been
names are chiseled deeply
to my soul
where once a secret shared
lights are falling
round
by love
a faint reminder –
of another
great unknown

. . .

last wednesday ~

12 Monday Feb 2018

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Storytelling

≈ 17 Comments

Tags

blessings, brief, death, faith, home, life, love, marriage, moments, remembrance, seasons, sorrow, time, truth

eternal

Last Wednesday……not that long ago.

Last Wednesday, I received a call from my ex-sister-in-law. In a matter of just a few days, her husband had fallen, been admitted to ICU, been diagnosed with a failing liver, been given the prognosis that he would not recover, and been surrendered to the loving hands of hospice.

Friday was a long day but yesterday longer, and this morning, at the ripe age of sixty, he passed away.

I’ve had colds last longer than the time it took for a page to turn, and a new chapter to begin for his wife and his daughter who is expecting her first child – his first grandchild.

I reminded my friend numerous times over the last few of just how precious this time is, even at its absolute worst – it is a treasure that some never have and would give up everything in order to know.

It’s a last chance to say everything that matters, to hear everything that matters. To grieve, to heal, to gather…..

Her faith is strong.

I am reminded (again) that (as a rule) we do not have the luxury of keeping our own clock, and like it or not, eventually our days will be done. We know not when, nor would we wish to.

As hard as this time already, I believe it is the moving on that wears the harshest. I imagined her returning home today and opening the fridge on a leftover salad from last week, the remnants of an ice tea not finished, socks in the dryer, shoes beside the door, carkeys on a kitchen counter. It is that which closes around us – the resumption of a life made smaller.

Yet, even in the remembering, we are blessed….. ❤

let me know
when life is come
and started new
without
the warmth that was
a kiss that knew
the way to ease
my longing

. . .

Christopher Michael Lundquist
12/17/1957 – 02/12/2018

found ~

13 Friday Oct 2017

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Rambling, Storytelling

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

been found, grace, gratitude, home, it's what I do, life, love, memory, prayers, sorrow, tears, time, truth

homeofI

A couple of days ago, I was tempted by one of those Facebook confession postings. You know the type, where you input information relative to you and post it on your timeline so that others will learn more about you, but also be inspired to do the same on their timeline.

Sort of a chain letter for Facebook fans.

It started innocent enough –

Names you go by: Bobbie, Bob, Aunt Bob
Beer or Wine: Coffee

But the next point for input was ‘When’s the last time you cried?’

Now that’s a bit tricky. You see, I don’t truly view myself as much of a crier.  Though I feel things deeply, the tears I shed are pretty private and I am not sure that either (a) they would be perceived as such, or (b) the fact that my answer isn’t ‘yesterday’ would lead anyone to believe that I have no feelings.

That I would care about either of those last items is an entirely separate matter, and one worth pursuing at another writing.

However, it got me to thinking about the tears I do shed.

You see, I can’t start down my list of reasons to be sad without bumping into reasons for thankfulness and gratitude. I can’t think about how much I miss my daddy without thinking of all the wonderful moments we shared. One gets in the way of the other in a way I am not sure most would understand.

I can shed tears of gratitude, but not for my own personal loss because my loss is far outbalanced by my gain.

And such as it with most everything I might grieve. My tears aren’t of sorrow, and may not even be seen as tears of joy.

They are instead tears of having been found.

Yes, that’s it….. And the answer, ‘all the time’.

. . .

cleave not to December
the reminder of spring
~ a sparrow returned
to the nest
with faded remembrance
of faraway sighs
futures ~
the color of snow

grieve not the leaving
but the coming around
to place
unaffected
by time
tears of reflection
are falling around
~ far from the living
we’ve known

. . .

scorched ~

29 Friday Sep 2017

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

breath, gratefulness, life, love, need, release, reminders, sorrow, time, truth

in my dreams
rain arrives
in the nick of time
just before the healing
where sanded down
our fields
have turned to grey

flush beneath
a canopy
of almost
everafters –
swept to breathing
feathers –
molding dreams
of clay

sunlight swirls
to fill the space
where somewhere
yesterday
we lay awake
and begged the rivers –
rain

. . .

mesmerized ~

12 Friday Feb 2016

Posted by tornadoday in a time for telling, Poetry

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

bliss, eternal, grief, home, joy, life, longing, love, seeing in the dark, song, sorrow

dreamy

solace
wears a mask of grief
home – a time began
where reaching back
too often
I am found
mesmerized by everything
let my soul embrace
the tender touch
no matter now
how brief

sorrow
knows of other times
of joys
too big
my heart to spare
of wonders
we shall know again –
bliss (o sweet)
forever shared

evening
sits in shadow
where once the morning
sun
was burned
love remains
the proof of life –
beyond the still
a moment
yearned

. . .

‘little boy’ skin ~

28 Monday Dec 2015

Posted by tornadoday in a time for telling, Uncategorized

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

blessings, home, joy, love, nature, seasons, sorrow, stories, time, truth

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We chat about redbuds and the best kind of molasses. Lessons are made of wings to the feeder, rainbows fleeting just beyond the window sill. Stories are retold time and again.

He’s reminisced more than once about his grandmother (Darthula) and of his favorite time of year – the anticipated weeks just before her arrival, before her visit (she traveled by foot o’er many miles, unless someone with a wagon was coming their way).

She held him closer than most, breathed in his ‘little boy’ skin, whispered kisses, baked like a mad woman, and brought with her a treat they otherwise couldn’t well afford – corn flakes.

Prior to his birth, there was no real baby, as the youngest of the children had passed. He was both unexpected and treasured. His sisters spoiled, as his brothers watched over him.

He didn’t care much for eggs, but loved sausage (still loves sausage). Grandpa would sometimes rise at two just to fry him up a skillet full.

There is no leaving…no pulling back.

I speak with others and quite often, the conversation is the same, ‘I know it kills you to see him this way.’

I suppose that’s true – in a way. I wouldn’t wish this current circumstance on him, but on the other hand, I certainly wouldn’t let it keep me away. If the only options are to see him ‘this way’ or not to see him, well, there’s hardly any room for indecision.

If age and disease persist in taking bits of him, then surely, they must love him as I do.

To be truly blessed in the loving, we must find the blessing in every part of letting go, for it is in that place (of grace) that we build what will be left for clinging to later on. Sorrow is a divine inheritance – the same as joys we could not bear part from.

The wrens clamor for the darkest of the seeds, while songbirds wait patiently their favorites. Redbud boughs bend as hymns waft through nearly silent halls – where blessings are whispered without regard for the taking.

of ways
I still remember
how it was
to hold you near
though time has passed
and left no scar
at all
winds are blowing
how I love
the song they hesitate
names I spoke aloud
I speak again
leave to me
the everything –
of all I’ve known to love
let the years
forget not long –
the path
we came
for getting on

. . .

hightide and redbud ~

28 Friday Aug 2015

Posted by tornadoday in a time for telling, Poetry, Storytelling

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

angels, assurance, beauty, blessings, connection, conscious consciousness, country, family, flowers, grace, home, knowing, life, love, nature, oneness, sorrow, story, together, trees, truth

Friday. Another sweet surrender.

Whenever I need re-centering, I know where to go. With every return to nature, I am strengthened. I am remembered to myself time and again.redbudhome

Just this morning, before heading off to work, I sat for a moment and pulled myself into the now, focused not on the two places where nothing is – the past, the future. The breeze was soft and even in the present, there were scatterings of other times at the edges of my memory. So, I focused on the trees that push against the fence line.

They are without rule, without the strict reinforcement of man. They grow, and I let them. But in them, I was again reminded back to a lesson, one which I needed their help to re-find.

Every country girl moved to the big city knows one thing for certain. Regardless where you are, there is a part of you that grows deeper than concrete. You also know that while it’s a wonderful thought to dig up some of those baby trees for transplanting to city yards, it rarely works.

That’s because nature is without the limits of man’s wisdom. She grows untended, dogwood pressed against oak; redbud blossoming between pine and sweet gum; lady slipper and sumac in the same patch of moss. If you dig one up, expecting to see thick strong roots, you’ll be surprised. They aren’t that way at all. They are fragile and sprawling and weaved into each other. It is an environment that teaches them both to fight and to bend. So, if you relocate that pretty little redbud to the wide open space of a city yard, she will likely die.

And there, the lesson. We not only belong together; we are meant to be together. Our roots are made stronger when bound with another, reminding us to each other (to home) again and again.

savemenextAs some of you know, my father was diagnosed with Parkinson disease some years ago. It is a blessing and a curse. Like any other disease, it is a lover that only ever wants more of that which we hold dear. But the blessing is in the lessons learned – in the weaving together of joys, memories, and challenges. Even sorrow is a gift for it surely never leaves us where it found us. I reflect on my interaction with my daddy, mama, my brother and sisters. Where one is lacking, another picks up. Even in the tight space of a hospital room or a kitchen, we are remembered back to the dance of being one, together, the same. One leans in as another sways. Weaving never is finished. Knots are tied and re-tied to remind us of moments fragile and perfect, but only always of love – the divine water that allows us to bloom, to grow, to strengthen, to pray, to heal.

So, back to the woods (the now). If you dared to dig up that little redbud, and tried to unravel her roots, you might be amazed. Not only would you find them intertwined with the neighboring pine and dogwood, but you’d find traces of roots from trees and flowers long since gone.

Her real beauty (her strength) lies not in the blush that decorates a forest, but in that which reaches deeper than dirt. As with all of us, the real story is the one written to her soul.

. . .

what story
mine
beginning here
from traces of hello
resounds within
the echoes of goodbye
last we loved
might I have known
the way
would lead me back
where we are new –
made one
within the light

. . .

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Poetic Thoughts

Benjamin Grossman

Starry-eyed Writer, Cautious Philosopher, Hopeful Romantic

Discover WordPress

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

Walt's Writings

Poetry about Life, Love, Music by Walt Page, The Tennessee Poet

Silent Fingers

~ journey of a rose scented ink ~

houseofheartweb.wordpress.com/

ithoughtyouwerejoking.wordpress.com/

Exploring the epiphany

Seasonings

Just a little poetry...

Revelation

MyWorldsInWords

View my worlds

yelena's poetry

Now & Then

The fears of a girl, the heart of a woman, and everything inbetween...

Blonde in Flares

Flared and prepared.

Ziyaad poet

Just a cup of poetry and cookies

The Reluctant Poet

A Discovery of Enlightening Insights, Information, Humor, Writings and Musings

Dr. Eric Perry’s Blog

Motivate | Inspire | Uplift

Broken roads of Destiny

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Thoughts and feelings made into words about the world and times in which we live ...

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Making a connection when everything is connected

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