destined (remember) ~

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Awaiting
the seasons –
we were destined (remember)
to find in this madness
each other (again) –
something you said
as the light was first fading.

I turned –
you were already gone
and there – in the face
I was given to love –
a trace of another (I know).
A map of the heavens –
foretold of this crossing
a need for returning
this place (to my soul).

Would leave
without want
for some other (beginning) –
a day like today
(take me home).
To bargain with love
(one more so familiar).
This nothing is something
I’ve known.

I stood in the sun
we vowed to remember
as lifetimes (no more)
fell away.
Moments enduring –
their reach – everlasting
reminders of gardens
(another bouquet).

Closing my eyes
as essence (returning)
defies the illusion of time –
(where was I now)
before you were going –
renewed by a moment
(beginning)
divine.

twelve steps ~

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It seems a month
has passed since Sunday
~ last I checked the trees were bare.
The orchard grieves the scent
of apples ~
and grace is showing
everywhere.

The fence is down
~ though not to notice
how I missed the letting go.
With heart so focused on forever ~
never took of time
to know.

Nor planned to be
this far from leaving
~ this near to hearts already closed.
Twelve from gone
and two from dying ~
in the same sweet bed
where I was born.

Eighteen dreams
and sixteen babies
~ lost my faith in men this time.
Begged an end tho nothing mattered
more than this ~
my truth to find.

From here to go
as where life leads me
~ takes me back
the way I came
to unremember every mercy ~
kisses taste for years
the same.

As gravel roads
in twilight glisten
~ empty rooms
(to candle flare).
Paced the porch
from birth to breaking ~
awaiting dawn
to find you
there.

rest with me ~

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From that which is
becoming –
life returns for me.
Memoirs offered by the night –
loving strains to be.
As written down a reason
when there seemed no hope for more –
as promise left to moments –
where once (we were)
before.

Of tenderness
I choose again –
kind as kindness knows.
There is no love we leave behind –
it goes as we would go
Restrained by none
but onliness –
love becoming more.
As we would show (in giving of)
wisdom waited for.

To find anew
these mysteries –
let the sayer have his day
to storm the path
of living –
and not our light betray.

Hold me now –
(as I shall hold)
let rivers chase my name –
that I might seed compassion
on the sea.

Tell them all I went the way
of locust come July –
the way of laurel
stilled by winter frost.
A softer sigh –
as silence waits
to heal the waning moon.

Love shall find
acceptance here –
beyond the threat of loss.

wishes fell to earth ~

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of the places
I’ve forgotten –
might I see you sometime there
as a shadow to a page
already read
as a lace
that brushes softly
to my cheek whene’er I turn
remembered still
a moment so divine

would never do
to mention this –
the place where paths were crossed –
where planets planned
to meet some other time

and holding out
uncertainty
for what would surely fall
tho not for long –
a brighter path recalled
covers now the evidence
of miles we walked before
spun with vine
and paved with silver shale

quiet as a hand was pressed
gently to the paper –
before the next to write
a story new –
told again in whispers
of a night so long ago –
shivered as our wishes
fell to earth

when come at last –
to understand
fleeting recognition
of something without flesh
we dare not speak
quiet sleeps in darkened halls –
where memories are tucked

perfume sits
all night in the dark

sworn ~

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as for days
they aren’t so heavy
that I can’t hear your voice
as miles I never walked
I drift between

remainders of a time we talked
in whispers of surrender –
hand in hand
eternity restored

as promise we had felt return
when fit together walking
and graced the sun
with touch beneath the green

took of faith
a fated leap –
tho knew not of tomorrow
or where the tides would leave us
with our dreams

forgotten as the first
to step
the last to leave for heaven –
and paradise
was sworn to bring us home

wishes we might never speak
lest worlds be crushed
in moving –
another star
when thought we were alone

I can’t be sure
but sometimes there
I wonder to your passing
and question –
more and more
the why you came

familiar as an unfamiliar
presence on the night –
breath the same as mine
I couldn’t know

stories wait the telling
as pages grieve the pen –
paths we walked are covered now
with snow –

oceans turn between the lights
of where we were
remember –
as lifetimes passed
(I can’t be sure)

I know
what I can’t know

somebody’s baby ~

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Denim works better
than satin to soothe me –
t-shirts and bobby socks
shoes I’ve outgrown.
Coffee stirs feelings
of times I spent running –
and I don’t need a sign
to find my way home.

Briar and sassafras –
two kinds of lover.
The one who keeps count
and the one who won’t care –
what’s on for breakfast
of worlds unforgiven.
The roof is still leaking
but it’s warm enough here.

For all that I’ve written
there are pages still waiting –
like the space on the dresser
pearls never laid.
Fruit jars and masons –
tho nothing much matches.
Lacey white linens
I’ve given away.

There are spoons
in the pantry
and uneven tapers –
gates rusted shut
by the way of the bed.
Old maps are kept by the door
in a basket –
and a box full of memory
sleeps neath my head.

Some I can’t touch
for forgetting the reasons –
I kept them at all
of the things that I can’t.

Heaven gets lost
at the mention of leaving –
and there are acres
of promise nobody owns.
Berries grow wild
by the fence (barely standing)
and summer plays hell
with my soul.

Jasmine and lavender
three kinds of daisies –
dried to the line
my blankets to bless.
Hardwood and heartache
are nobody’s business –
as a moment of weakness
to silence confessed.

Life all around
and most barely living –
who I am (someone)
with none to approve.
I’ll sit the night out
as the porch light is fading –
laugh til I cry
and talk til I’m blue.

From the place of my pillow
a view of forever –
and thirty six stars light the ways
I’ve become.

Was a time that I worried
what was thought – what was fated –
and traded (sometimes)
what of me (best) belonged.
But there’s more here
than being (somebody’s baby)
and letting go gave me
a time to hold on.
To what of me mattered
(tadpoles and twilight) –
truths to remember
long after I’m gone.

I rock when I weep
and sing when it’s raining –
I walk when I dream
past the woods (far enough).
Grace never fails
to remind me (of someone)
the girl that I was –
wears the woman I love.

blew ~

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where have I gone
I wondered away
wandering (wonderer)
released from the clay
when held by a thought
(please don’t go)
and I couldn’t make sense
of the comings and goings
the night that imprisoned my soul
and took me so far
(returning me not)
to the place of permissions
conquest by rules
who would know
and why was I loved
I waited my breath
to remember

the way I was going
and smiles I would leave
reminders of where I had been
for reasons I came –
when the night was so sweet
(to hold me that way)
as days fell
to moments between

as maple to drip
honey so slow from the hive –
songs I’d forgotten
I knew how to sing
(the way I would feel)
while circling around
this living to love –
this fire to dance

I watched as the sparrows
took roost from the flame
and wondered (how long)
they would stay
(with the twilight)
even now from the still
who’s to say
how long I’ll be gone

might I wake
with a start
and a stirring inside
unashamed of the choices
I’d made
and where I was taken
to find me again
not the same (even better sometimes)

the pillow has faces
and stories to tell
might I count to the lines
on the back of these hands
somewhere I was mentioned
in going one time
but life kept me
falling away

softly to birth
mysteries tarry
born to another – I can’t recollect
where I was bound
when rose from the ash
with memory
as I was to be

scarred to the bone
and filled with that flame
the same one
(you remember that dream)
when my hair caught to fire
and the night
blew with smoke
the same as I was
when the first sparrow sang
and they wondered
(they wander)
how long it might be
til I’m home

stutter ~

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still –
and I wondered
(a moment of longing)
to understand all
of these signs
souvenirs

yesterday
sworn to believing –
denied every doubt
planted here

in the place I was saving
for you (and your ways)
pieces of wonder
strung into lights
– hung from the tree
where I waited

too many times
to remember the number
or counting in measure
of breathing
haiku –

like the slow (easy) beat
of eternity passing
wind into song –
against drum

or the tender
transgression
of petals reopened
in the place where the sun
was (rumored) to shine

as gossip by weeds
without knowledge of you
or the dreams
you took pride in
becoming
(someday)

softer than this
a faraway stutter
of rain to the ground –
promise once made
to the mountains
(for love)

just a ghost
of a memory
tied to a moment –
blows now the word
through this still

remembering love
as grace unexpected –
as sun to the mountain
and raindrops
of dew

dealt the angel ~

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beyond this time
of recollection –
the truth shall ever be
no less for every passing over
another way to see
before we were
and for this come –
to choose of all that weighted
to taste of life
was given us –
of destinies ill-fated
by cards of death
as sorrows dealt
the angel from the bottom
and turned us back
from paths we knew by heart
take no heed
of circumstance
reminders to remember
the truth remains
no stranger to the soul –
come as light
to shine the way –
across unto another
love becomes our reason –
whate’er a hand can hold

before ~

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Who was I before
(I wonder
now and then).
Was I more than this
or less than most –
a trace of ‘might have been’.
Were my lips the same
when spoke your name –
did you hang on every word
or close your ears
(to hide your heart) –
should e’er the truth
be heard.

(I wonder)
when you hold me –
do you feel the same (inside).
A fluttering of osprey
a deep and growing tide –
or something less
(you’ve lost your way).
A place to be
instead –
hands above the table –
boots beneath the bed.

When offered life –
would just enough
be more than you could bear.
Of love (the same as breathing)
shall grieve for you
(I swear).
Misguided dreams
when nights were long –
forgot the need to pray
for morning light
(returned as love) –
to wash your fears away.

Was nothing
you remember –
as the same you were (made more).
Surrendered every memory
of who I was
before.