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tornadoday

~ …might I be found in words I leave behind

tornadoday

Tag Archives: living

last in line ~

11 Wednesday Jul 2018

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Storytelling

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

acceptance, contentment, family, happiness, home, living, love, still, truth, unplugged, wealth

When I was a kid, I did not (ever) walk five miles in the snow to get to school. I didn’t have to get up at three to milk the cows or muck the stalls. The things I did as a child weren’t seen as ever a hardship, but simply what I did. I neither saw it as hard or easy, but simply a part of my living.

Until I was a teenager, I shared a tiny room with a sister and a brother. Later, I shared a slightly larger room with two sisters. I shared a bathroom with all of them. I shared shampoo, towels and toothpaste. When times were really tight, as the oldest, I was last in line to use the bathwater.

Was it disgusting? I don’t recall ever thinking that. And, up to this point, I’ve suffered no long term trauma as a result.

Maybe I already knew it wasn’t all about me. Regardless of how bad or easy I had it, I already knew there were others who had it worse.

granny's house

Until my grandpa died, he and my granny lived in a plain clapboard house they had lived in most all their married life. The only electricity was on the ‘cold porch’ where they kept a fridge (which was a huge upgrade from their earlier icebox). There was no indoor plumbing. A cold drink was dipped from a bucket on the kitchen counter.

Almost every Sunday, my grandparents’ children and grandchildren would come for church and stay for dinner (aka lunch in most parts of the country). An average Sunday might include thirty people. There was a huge dining table, but ladderback chairs covered the front porch, the side yard, and back stoop.

Now, I realize there are plenty of people nowadays who cook like that for family on holidays or maybe even on Sundays.

But here’s the difference.

We’d have fried chicken, homemade biskits, white gravy, corn on the cob, green beans, and at least two kinds of cobbler. On special days, we’d have homemade icecream.

Doesn’t sound like much, does it?

But (remember) there was no electricity. Granny had most likely killed that chicken before church or the night before. All cooking was done on a wood burning stove with no microwave, no mixes, no running water, and no air conditioning…..by two little weathered hands.

Those same hands, covered with flour would fold into grace before we ate, offering gratitude for love that brought us into a solitary place.

❤

There were lots of trees in the yard; a side fence separated the house from the orchard, the backyard from the garden, the barn and the livestock. During most months, the song of the cicada was louder than that of the crickets. When they emerged from the ground, it was the trees where they left behind their brittle shells.

I’d collect those shells, lining them up along the porch and down the front path, creating a miniature parade. I would talk to them and pretend they were friends to each other.

❤

I realize it doesn’t sound like much. To anyone who never lived it, it might even sound backward or simple.

But we weren’t. We were rich. We had one another. We had Sunday. My grandpa had a store just over the hill with dirt floors, blue horse notebooks and ice cold Dr. Pepper and Orange Crush.

❤

I can recall spending hours watching feral kittens out the window. They lived under the house, but wouldn’t allow anyone to touch them. The closest I could get was the bedroom window.

We had the coldest water I believe I’ve ever tasted, and apple pie like nobody knows how to make anymore. We had a pond that froze in winters, and woods filled with Christmas trees!

❤

Was it always perfect? Of course not, although I can’t seem to recall moments that weren’t. I believe that who we become in this life isn’t due to a series of experiences, but rather what we choose to keep.

We had the beginning of a story, and hands that warmed around us.

❤

when there was nothing
I remember you –
a name within my mouth
a thunder slipping
soundless
through the night
when there was nothing
all we had
was enough to fold around
when there was nothing
all we had
was everything

. . .

Author’s Note: Inscription on the back of this photo –
First rule of life. Never be without someone to love. ❤

from hiding ~

07 Wednesday Feb 2018

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

faith, home, living, love, only this, seeing in the dark, sometimes, surrender, time, truth

the_sheep_by_elementik

ease the moon
from hiding –
naught for nights succumb
or mornings tempted so
the sun to breathe
held within
uncertain lines
how it is I wandered
closer still
to all the things
I loved

. . .

the fierce embrace of living ~

25 Thursday Jan 2018

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

beginning, divine blessing, immortality, living, love, purpose, reflection, soul, spirit, truth

reflection

were not for love
what purpose this –

the fierce embrace
of living
the gentle tug
of evermore –
a hand that fits
the same

what mortal death
the slightest power
to steal what none can steal
truth
that even silent lips
proclaim

tis not for us
to understand
of breath
beyond the knowing
of graces heaven gathers
in our name

. . .

best ever ~

21 Thursday Dec 2017

Posted by tornadoday in a time for telling, Poetry, Storytelling

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

bliss, connection, faith, family, grace, gravel roads, knowledge, life, living, love, memory, old maps, postmark, reason, relationship, spirit, strength, truth, wealth, wonder

Just this week, a friend told me of the start of a new tradition within her family wherein each member shared their best Christmas memory. Even in recounting the experience, tears filled her eyes as she spoke of her own, and those shared by others. There were moments of sorrow and others sweeterstillof pure joy, but eventually, they all became the best memory ever.

How is it that we’ve forgotten that? To know that every sorrow wears a coat of joy, and every bliss is but a warning of grief – a missing of the sweetest part? And yet, when measured into the same overflowing cup, they become the best – again and again.

She asked to my best memory ever and I think (partially) it was dislodged from my heart by her telling, but it is one of joy and family……….the best ever still.

Tho we didn’t know it at the time, we weren’t rich. My family of six lived in a two bedroom trailer until I was twelve. Then we moved into a castle of three bedrooms….. 🙂 The memory recalled is from the ‘castle’. Every Saturday was the same. One by one, my brother and sisters would wake for some reason and make our way to my parent’s room, my parent’s bed. Until we were all there, telling our dreams, torturing and tickling, and eventually deciding on breakfast.

But Christmas was another such time. My brother (who by virtue of the fact that he was the only son, had his own bedroom) would sleep in the girl’s room. We’d all pile into one big bed (or it seemed big at the time – tho I suspect it was no more than a full-size). I’m not sure we slept at all, but during the night, with every little squeak or bending of board, we’d speculate that Santa had come around. My brother was the designated outlook for us, and he would sneak down the hall to spy on the living room………and then run back to the safety of us to report. There was no understanding that it had to be five o’clock before we could get up. The only restriction was that we couldn’t get up before Santa had arrived.

closerYears later, I have heard stories of how long it took to get all the presents under the tree*. Between wrapping, assembling, and playing with all the toys – it was their joy we were most anticipating I think. Even now, at Christmas, I imagine the sound of little boy feet running down the hall…….. ‘he’s here, he’s here’………..

Let us keep Christmas forever in our tiny hearts, remembering things little as big. Let us keep love through the sharing of stories – creating anew every best memory.

* My Chatty Cathy doll was almost worn out before Christmas, and a promise to get a kitten for my sister resulted in an unexpected run to the country – and a cat that nearly brought my dad to stitches.  In the telling, even more sweet beautiful tears.  My dad comments, ‘we didn’t know just how good we had it’….  Then he winks, ‘yeah, we knew’……..

wake me home
some other year –
beyond this life surrendered
fall to me the places
I have known –
save for me
a little room
with not much more
for leaving –
arms to fill
wake me now
to home

. . .

Author’s Note:  One of my favorite reposted as a reminder.

stilled ~

12 Thursday Oct 2017

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

becoming, bliss, breath, connection, destiny, grace, knowledge, life, living, love, old maps, passion, poetry, spirit, strength, understanding

closerhome

heaven
is never
as close as was then
warmth
to my cold
fingertips

somebody wrote
themselves into story
e’en now
I remember
the way –

the essence
of light
when stilled
by surrender

purpose made sweeter
by the giving
away

a shimmering
promise
of love yet
becoming

the same as was
morning –
found new
on the day

. . .

 

beyond the clear ~

06 Tuesday Dec 2016

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

breath, glory, light, living, love, nature, space, truth, wisdom

breathemeback

pages turn
as truth pursued
words to dance
beyond the clear
where once I soared ~
where nothing mattered
was everything
all but mine
reason chides
an ancient passion
of sweet perfume
and loyal
pines

. . .

all I need ~

08 Monday Feb 2016

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, verse

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

home, knowing, learning, life, light, living, love, truth

remembermeback

had e’er I known
but one desire
to barter sin for sin
awash in ash
would scrub me clean
again
rings of counting
now and none
years –
a tender stone
is wrapped within
each memory
all I need
of home

. . .

sewn together ~

04 Wednesday Nov 2015

Posted by tornadoday in Storytelling

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

acceptance, angels, blessings, family, healing, home, life, living, love, seeing in the dark

reminders (2)

Yesterday afternoon, I spoke at length with a friend in California. It’s been almost 30 years since I worked for her husband, George.

Two months ago, George stumbled while mowing the yard and subsequent check-ups found him suffering due to an inoperable tumor, brain cancer. He’s not likely to make it through the week. But for a little while, we laughed and I shared stories of what a bear he was to work for at first. How could he have known he had met his match when he hired me, that his gruff exterior would be worn away by a girl with different beliefs and hand-me-down boots?

It seemed to fit.   This past week has been a time of extreme tenderness for me. My father was moved to a hospital near to my house, where he stayed for more than a week as doctors worked to rid him of an infection that was not only hindering his healing, but negating his ability to communicate effectively about what was hurting. Whispers couldn’t be interpreted and many a tear was shed over something that might have been nothing – words no one could understand.

And there was laughter as well – an evening when my father recognized neither me or my sister, and surely fell in love with both of us as we cared for his aches and washed his tired eyes.

Writing has been something on my mind, but left to the margin of most of my days.

Early one morning, I scribbled on my hand as I sat upright beside my daddy’s bed, listening to his breathing, my breathing….the same.  But by the time I got home, the words were gone – worn to grey, and lost to the illusion of sleep.

Yet, I knew what I wanted to say, what I knew was mine to tell….that this is our treasure. These moments, regardless of how fragile they might seem, are the very threads that sew us together.

A well-meaning friend recently commented that when his father was ill, he had to ‘limit’ the time spent with him, and I wondered how in the world that was possible, and why in the world it would ever be a consideration. What blessings are negated for the comfort of a tv and a remote control……

Surely, we are always wishing for better days, for healing and hope and longevity. But at the heart of living is something deeper than what we know – that this one shining (glimmering) moment is divine, and all we have assurance of.  We cannot expect even one more day or one more morning when the fish are biting and the air is cool, when the mourning doves scuttle across rusty tile, and truth shines through our window as bright as the day we were born.

So, when it comes, in clothes we do not recognize and eyes deeper than the sun is blue, let us not look away for even a moment. Let us never be fooled into believing that tears are anything less than glory, reminders of love we cannot lose, joys we have held closer than the stars.

This is our story, our forever, our inheritance. When all is gone, this is what we have. Time when nothing else mattered but the warmth of a hand in ours, lips that whispered our name, and the quiet still just before dawn.

This………o, yes………..this!

gather now
the aging wheat
and lay the seed aside
so that the sun
will dry
these tears again
tend our hearts
within the joy
we knew would come this way
mornings left us
sleeping
side by side

how could we then
have known of this –
of other blessings come
of stories yet untold
I listen now
to hear them mend
a tired soul
reminders of the road
miles before and someday
here I’ll be

bless these willing hands
forgive me
let me take of all
I am

. . .

between ~

30 Wednesday Sep 2015

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

daylight, grace, home, living, love, moments, shimmer, truth, twilight, unremembering

in the half light
of five o’clock
shadows bend and sway
while ego sleeps
in borrowed sheets
a world away
streaming light
of conscious flight
words
though none can hear
time – a frail illusion
of being here

as curtains fallen
o’er a dream
deny our need –
the weight of place
truth is clothed
in wonder –
moments left
of grace

a chirp
before the coffee spills
and thought becomes a sigh
fingers trace
a life replaced
with getting by

the taste
of names unspoken –
is solace to the soul
as five fifteen
is laid between
the living
and letting go

. . .

taking back of time ~

08 Tuesday Sep 2015

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

connection, gravel roads, home, knowing, letting go, living, love, memories, remembrance, sacred intimacy, seasons, time

theywaitforme

I’m the road
made sure
for coming home –
the taking back of time
words where none
would fit
the same as mine
from here
the waiting restless
as stars
again align
I’m more than once
you might have dreamed
– thought
removed of rhyme

gather me
remember me
beyond this sacred
afterglow
lay me down
beneath the night –
another loved you so
in keeping
let your sweet embrace
replace my will –
my need to go
til all of you
returns to me
as all of love
I know

. . .

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Poetic Thoughts

Benjamin Grossman

Starry-eyed Writer, Cautious Philosopher, Hopeful Romantic

Discover WordPress

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

Walt's Writings

Poetry about Life, Love, Music by Walt Page, The Tennessee Poet

Silent Fingers

~ journey of a rose scented ink ~

House of Heart

ithoughtyouwerejoking.wordpress.com/

Exploring the epiphany

Seasonings

Just a little poetry...

Revelation

MyWorldsInWords

View my worlds

yelena's poetry

Now & Then

The fears of a girl, the heart of a woman, and everything inbetween...

Blonde in Flares

Flared and prepared.

Ziyaad poet

Just a cup of poetry and cookies

The Reluctant Poet

A Discovery of Enlightening Insights, Information, Humor, Writings and Musings

Dr. Eric Perry’s Blog

Motivate | Inspire | Uplift

Broken roads of Destiny

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” — Maya Angelou

grandfathersky

Thoughts and feelings made into words about the world and times in which we live ...

Randomreasoning

Making a connection when everything is connected

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