o daddy ~

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how long I’ve been
in growing up –
the first of four
(so many)
never thought to this
the dreaming in your eyes

when I hold you near
(o, daddy)
you tremble more and more
and I want to cry
(for these, not I)
tomorrow will remember
hold me close
a moment more –
and beg me not (o, baby)
think to things
beyond my weak control

of days or years
I have not either –
or means to slow their passing
take my hands
let’s wander back this way –
to other places (stories told)
in makings of a memory
you washed my feet
with whispers of your love

I shall stay
the long night through –
and fight with words
each demon
would take of leave
this moment here –
tis mine and mine alone

one day
I know
the call will come
and tears will flow untended
but still within
the presence of a smile –
for treasure keeps a place with me
inheritance (already)

arms to wrap around
they feel the same
to me

mary ~

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another night fades
as the first one to go ~
and tonight there’s a quiet
the lonely heart knows
as the place
once adorned by a voice
on the line
and silence made sweeter
by the passing of time

there’s a bed on the ridge
where grace slumbers now
as destinies grieve
what her years won’t allow
was forever
(a moment)
we passed on our way –
flowers left blooming
in the places we lay –

in prayers as a name
repeated again –
and tears have no shame
for to fall

memories gather
in the shadow of life
and we wonder how soon til
forgotten –
will no one be left
not a soul to recall –
who we loved
why we came –
what we made of it all

more than marks to the page
or dates to a stone –
is someone
to hold us
long after we’ve gone

Author’s Note: Written in honor of my aunt,
Mary Pheribol Hughes (1922 – 2012)

where you are ~

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where you are
I’ve been before –
and there I held you longer
than lifetimes since
would fade
into the day
dreamed of where we walked
and miles we spoke
with words unspoken –
of all I could have needed
was your hands
to change the way
I looked at me –
in seeing you the same
here am I
in words you know
they reach for me in sleeping
and will me back to places
we have known

sheets of linen ~

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from simple words
another fell – and silence
rose to meet –
ink was spilled
unselfish to the page
as joy returned to season
without ending to erase
bliss was ours
with tears to wash away
the best of these –
a story told
revealed in us a time
of where we were
when then some other day
we fell beyond the margins
creating other lives –
remember this – the choice we made
to leave our strength behind
chapters still unfolding
long after we have gone
will fill the book of silent verse
of lovers by decree –
between these sheets
of linen –
we love eternally

more than roses ~

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It’s enough
that I remember
the softness of hello –
A smile was all I needed
to be sure (of what I know)
that nothing is forever
but what we keep within.

As dear the kiss was given
it is left to be again.

It’s enough
that I’ve forgotten
other times we said goodbye –
a blanket of October
o’er a chilly autumn sky.

I don’t need an everafter
to know (what’s in your heart).
Were there words –
we must have found them –
given places left to start.

It’s enough
for each tomorrow,
what today (I know) is real.
I don’t need another promise –
all I need
is what I feel.

If that is all
(enough) to keep me –
keep me well it sure will do.
What I have
is more than roses –
more than life
is loving you.

last time ~

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The last time
I held you –
the train was just leaving.
A pink piece of twilight
was burned soft as coal.
A whistle of promise –
came sweet
down the canyon –
for a moment
forever
was a hand
we could hold.

The last time
I saw you –
was just around morning.
We rolled into Beaumont
and stopped for a bite…
I remember that look –
how distant
how dreamy –
reflecting on something
we’d lost
to the light.

The last time
I kissed you –
was two o’clock Sunday…
bent over choices –
some place
never been.
A dark stretch of highway
and no place for turning –
back to beginning
we wandered
again.

The last time
I called you –
I suffered my longing
how deeply the missing –
a place you once knew.
How tender –
these memories
of roads left to travel –
ere time give me
pardon –

a last time
with you.

before there was me ~

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there’s so much to say
and less worth repeating
a lifetime of waiting
for reason to come
I think I should write
but words
have no meaning
when compared with this moment
and others undone

there’s so much to know
and too much
to measure
years become nothing
surrendered to time
changes forgotten
names seldom mentioned
the truth but a fragment
of me left behind

long I have lived
and lost through so many
another – one day
fades the chill of before
death unto dreams
a haunting of heavens
turned from the veil
as whispers
once more

what good is goodbye
if never is lessened
by the pull of a promise –
and love still to be
seeds swelled to blossom
their perfume remembers
a garden I wandered
before there was me

a smile unkept ~

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I was waiting you
to still my racing heart
as lightning
through the clouds
a face I knew
smiled and everything
was as was meant to be
a fool to doubt
of less to ever wonder ~
the coming back
would soon catch up with me

o please
I never needed ask
you knew my words
from memory ~
for years I hid
in places now forgotten
trading trust for recompense
paradise I know
a place to be
as I would need another
more than I ~
a sun beyond my own
was just a flame

reflection pooling in your eyes
where once I hybernated
hours into night
as you could see
beauty (gifted you)
a place in my confessions
lived within my dreams
of coming true ~

so grievous the notion
that skin ashamed in glowing
would retain the silken touch
of breath before
was halted by my passion ~
when truth appeared
(as signs we’d waited on)
freedom really free
as I decide

forever here
(as ever I) before
meant to be an answer –
awaiting this permission
(just to love)

not for making ~

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nights I sit
with fingers curled
just above the keys –
and stare into the dark
that is my view

beyond the barn
a lantern sways –
flickering by wing
an early bed made good
by evergreen

quiet pours around me
as longing settles in –
was once before
I wrote –
and someone read

words were not for making
I have none of my own –
but music
lives in silence
lest I sing

the place I keep
beneath the board –
a universe becoming
of where I loved –
tis there I love again

echoes fold
within the fog
branches dip and marry –
moonlight pools in places
I belong

tips to touch –
the world awaits
in memory of creation –
cedar boughs to kiss
the willing page

mercies ~

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it seemed a moment longer
than a thought had passed away
and silver spun
around my fingertips

eyes grown dimmer
by the sun
nights I rubbed them red
swore a curse I couldn’t lift
again

but kneeled the same
as once before –
and begged to rusty nails
might daylight ease my longing
fore I go

to know of other lives
and where they went
without direction –
stronger for the truth
I stumbled on

there is no salve
in looking back
(if only to remember)
what makes no difference now
but for days
to mark between –

were not for them
who knows –
where goes the road
we missed returning
a pause beneath the willow
ageless rocks
to sit below

free the past
from keeping more
than reasons to remind us –
knew we not by name
another time

kneel with me
where shadows fall
across the dreamer’s slumber
speak to me of fate
and ways to home –

cross the stitch
to fill the void –
evermore to answer
bless my prayer for mercy –
let me wake within
the dream