plans for evermore ~

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how is it I’d forgotten
my plans for evermore –
my want for more than waffles
another sunday morn
papers spread around me
with no one to obsess
o’er how I kiss
how I take my tea
where the lines
have faded now
who will mind the lawn
and who has sworn to memory
the place
I dreamed about
when all the rest
is scattered
one shall know for sure
where I kept my heart
how I loved

. . .

days ~

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my heart races
day remembers me back
twenty four thousand
six hundred and thirty five
an empty page
save for dreams
falling forward
against my longing
a beginning there
sunlight scatters
through easy windows
where smiles
remain
bigger than any grief
i can name
any voice i can give
edge into the silence
sweeter still
than coffee
are arms reaching
only this
to find

. . .

against the threat of night ~

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already now
the twilight rests
against the threat of night
where dreams
I can’t recall
await my sleep
already there
I’m missing you
without regard for days

another dawn
beyond my will to keep

a name unspoken
in silence stills
to bring this aging heart
to tears
released the ache
of living left –
to find of heaven
moments here

a place removed
unclaimed by grief
beyond the realm
of yesterdays
returning light
an endless sun –
where I am yours
to love
always

. . .

Janey Elizabeth George Ray ♥
9/21/1958 – 2/21/2024
May your heavy heart find peace. I will hold you within mine always ❤

the space between knowing ~

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forgive
this surrender
an almost forgotten
nights you lay down
with a memory
of mine
places forsaken
longing
decided –
by wishes
held up on the night
whatever i waited
was for this
that i pined
but knew not the words
to write down
on the way
even now
i remember
each coming awake
aware of your essence
in the space
between knowing –
was always
for certain
my way home
to you

. . .

blue crayon ~

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when you are broken
i will remind you
of sixty four colors
the ranges
of blue
and something we spoke of
long past the leaving
way past the morning
when silence bled through
when you fell
through these fingers
ran through my arms
on the way
getting back
forever we were
get me to somewhere
a roadside cathedral
tall as the pines
planted that day
remember
how nothing else mattered
but this –
an ancient blue crayon
we’d given away

. . .

memory of flame ~

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he said
the wait is over
not quite
tho still the same
as once you loved
i held you
the memory of flame
before there was
this wonder
this moment to discern
miles between
the getting back –
a destiny
returned

she said
i’ll leave the candle
regardless of the time
nights
where fell a star
we wished upon
i’ll keep the coffee
warmer
for the time it takes
to dream
i’ll wait
whatever fate
is come
for me

he said
i’ll be the river
and you
my favored stones
let me roll
beneath the heavens
to sleep
beside your soul

she said
i’ll be the sunrise
if you hold up the night
when breakfast comes
i reach
for you to find –
the way
that was beginning
years
before i knew

he said
i’ll wait all morning –
to wait the night
for you

. . .

was the moon ~

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we spoke in whispers
worried not
for days before
and wasted
i couldn’t say your name
without remembrance
of goodbyes we never had
never knew
this much was fated
a fragile happenstance
of sky
where skies
are planted
bested by the truth
i listened to the music
was your breath
within my own
lights to twinkle
just beneath a shadow
was the moon you loved
o how we loved
let the heavens
intercede
i will hold you
for a moment –
a lifetime next to me
never thought to be
forgotten
less
than what we know
wing’ed trails
across a fading light
memories of touch –
naked
against the pines

. .

denied of blue ~

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of living
i’ve decided
to save the best for this
my only ever once
forever time
– one kiss
ages past
were i to feel
an ache denied of blue
how is it now
i know
what these arms
were fated to
there are no words
no sordid rhymes
no wish
denied a star
time and places
someone wrote my name
was for this moment
lifetimes passed
tho i cannot recall
where time is gone –
there is no ache
at all

. . .