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tornadoday

~ …might I be found in words I leave behind

tornadoday

Tag Archives: value

whatever she’s wearing ~

06 Wednesday Aug 2014

Posted by tornadoday in a time for telling, Poetry

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

becoming, bliss, connection, destiny, dreams, faith, family, fearless, forgiveness, grace, gravel roads, knowledge, life, living, love, memory, old maps, passion, reason, relationship, southern, spirit, truth, understanding, value

As a rule, writing isn’t a problem for me. I place my fingers on the keys and let go (sometimes, like now, I close my eyes). The problem is never about writing, but quite often, it is about knowing when to stop. Rambling can become a novella in no time flat. A single good idea can take on epic proportions such that what I meant to say is never heard.

I say that as a way of explaining this piece. I’d like to stay on course, and not stray too far. And yet, I am not optimistic in that regard.

This comes as fallout from a visit with my parents last evening. You’ll understand (hopefully) somewhere along the telling.

My parents are lovers.19855_291930821274_660437_n

While most children are thrilled to have friends over, I was always a little apprehensive. I feared my parents would embarrass me. I can still remember how there was a mirror hung above the TV when I was a kid. You couldn’t watch TV without also catching what was going on in the kitchen behind you. “What was going on” was most always the same – my parents kissing. Yuk! Can you imagine the concern that would cause in a twelve year old girl’s heart?

And yet, now I see it differently (funny how that happens).

My grandfather owned a restaurant where my mother often worked the cash register. Child laws didn’t apply, or least not in the rural hills of Tennessee. My dad was a regular, and they met over the pinball machine. After several attempts, he finally convinced her to go out with him (but that’s another story involving the county fair and some ‘floozy from McMinnville’). Three months later, my granny rode with them over the state line into Georgia, where they were married. He was 23 and she was 14.

His tour with the Air Force ended two months later, with seven days between his discharge and starting a job he would work for more than fifty years. I was the result of that seven day break. By the time my mom turned 25, she had four children.

Other than grandparents, I don’t recall ever a time that my parents had a baby-sitter. They never went where we didn’t go, and if we went to the movie and it turned out to be a little too much, we’d leave. There were no theatres in our town, so movies were trips to the drive-in; lawn chairs in the backend of a pickup truck. But always, we were together; they were together.

I’m positive that things weren’t always so easy, and yet (and yet) more times than not, they somehow managed to make it look that way. There was never a problem bigger than their love for each other.momanddad

As grown-up children, we’ve come to understand that there’s no sense arguing. If mama’s in the hospital, daddy will sleep on the floor. If daddy’s in the hospital, mama will sleep wherever she can, and more than once, they’ve been known to crowd into a hospital bed. I’m not sure I’d know what to do if my parents didn’t kiss before parting, even if it’s just a trip to the kitchen. Even now, they snuggle in the backseat as if they had just met.

If you ask my dad what colors he likes best, he’ll quickly respond, ‘whatever she’s wearing’.

But around to last night.

I was leaving. Daddy pulled himself up from the couch, and put his arm around mama. [Let me add another footnote here. Regardless of what time might take, it’s never changed the sparkle in his eye when he hears her voice or looks at her.]

He said, ‘you know something….I don’t know how, but every day I love this woman more’.19855_291939546274_1780091_n

I smiled, ‘yep, just when you thought it impossible, your heart got bigger’.

We walked to the door, and there were more hugs and more kisses.

‘Daddy, do you love me more every day?’

‘Yes……..I do’……..and then a crooked smile and that sparkle, ‘but not like her’.

I’ve come to understand that the first person to kiss me doesn’t matter nearly as much as the last.

 

. . .

somewhere still
they’re making plans
for me another life
than a sheet or two strung out
on the line
a fate I’d never trade
for less than hand-me-downs
a moment here for getting on
is proof
of love divine

. . .

http://www.metrolyrics.com/his-only-need-lyrics-judd-wynonna.html

music we’ve forgotten ~

04 Monday Aug 2014

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

becoming, breath, connection, conscious consciousness, dreams, faith, fearless, grace, gravel roads, knowledge, life, living, love, passion, reason, spirit, strength, truth, understanding, value, wonder

forme

in the wink
that is a lifetime
moments paused between
the places
we became –
as spirit learned
of music we’ve forgotten
the beauty of the dance
times
we swore
some other
to return

without a map
for making –
to places we exist
a warmth
that is the sun
against our night
seasons robbed of color
constellations
turn in time –
breathless complication
of our easing into
flight

a day
a week
eternities –
tree steps and backward two
turning
gently turning
to the waltz of falling leaves
touching on
a memory
reminders why
we came –
to wake again this wonder
left the soul to grieve

. . .

just the way ~

31 Thursday Jul 2014

Posted by tornadoday in a time for telling, Poetry

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

becoming, bone cave, breath, cedar grove, destiny, faith, family, fearless, grace, gravel roads, knowledge, life, living, love, memory, old maps, passion, postmark, reason, southern, spirit, spirituality, touch, truth, understanding, value, wisdom

DSC23415

papa thought
the path was long
but didn’t mind the walking
was just the way
he told the story
mine

of skies
where only wing’eds sailed
heights too much
for man
lands beyond
a destiny
imagined us become

a house
and forty acres
was someone left
to grieve
hands were folded
doors unlatched
always

clean enough
for supper
sunday
as talk where silence lay
nestled in the arms
of everything

a place I keep ~

21 Monday Jul 2014

Posted by tornadoday in a time for telling, Rambling

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

cherokee, connection, conscious consciousness, dreams, faith, fearless, forgiveness, grace, letting go, life, living, love, memory, old maps, passion, postmark, reason, spirit, strength, truth, understanding, value, wisdom

Many years ago, my Christmas holiday was interrupted by a ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ experience. On Christmas eve, I was called to assist with the birth of a calf. The mother was down, and the calf was breech. A cesarean was needed to save the life of both the calf and mother. Once an animal ‘gets down’, time is of the essence.

But this writing isn’t about time, or about calves. It is instead about something else I learned that night. I suppose I was naïve in thinking the human body is more like the board used when playing ‘Operation’ than it is a sack of potatoes. I expected everything to have its designated place, and that is true but only in a very general sense.wealth

In order to get to the baby, we had to do a lot of moving of other things. Imagine a tub full of water balloons in various sizes, and you’ll understand what I mean. Anyone familiar with this would understand how a baby has room to grow; how a tumor has room to grow.

The body is an amazing thing in this way, and in some ways, the heart is the same. I’m not talking about the physical heart (the viscero) but rather the center, where our deepest feelings are stored. It is much like to the cigar box I had when I was young. It held my treasure, and I’m fairly certain that someone looking in that box could tell what mattered to me, could formulate some version of my story. The heart is just that, an accumulation of thoughts, emotion and feeling. And like the body, the heart is able to always make room for more.

As much as I love, I’m confident that I cannot ever be loved-up, to the point where I can’t love any more. It is my belief that the more you love, the more you love, such that the heart is forever growing larger.

But the heart can hold more than just love and pleasant memories. It can harbor bitterness, regret, resentment, and hate. In some ways, these things do to the heart what a tumor does to the body. They don’t really belong, but the heart makes room for them.

untilIknewAnd the heart carries them. I imagine the lightness of love and kindness, and how much bitterness and regret must weigh in comparison. Forgiveness, when given, surely has almost no weight at all, but carried too long (held back), it becomes heavier and heavier, weighing us down. Like a tumor, it poisons everything we know, taking more and more of our joys, our happiness, our dreams.

Imagine my cigar box. If I insisted on keeping every rock thrown at me, in no time at all, there’d be no room for feathers.

of all I have
my joys to keep
the first to kiss
my last
a jar of jam
a house my father owned
make my bed
of feathers cast aside
by downy flight
draw my bath
from rivers
nearly gone

. . .

made us to story ~

18 Friday Jul 2014

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

bliss, breath, connection, conscious consciousness, death, dreams, faith, fearless, forgiveness, grace, gravel roads, here, life, living, love, nature, old maps, passion, reason, restless, spirit, truth, understanding, value, wonder

thisway

these hands
how they love you
as lips to your song
of a place
I was going
someday

near a bend
in the river
where cattails are free
to move without music –
as one
with the waves

were rocked
by an ocean
in love with the sky
remade us to story
of clouds
filled with rain

how distant
endearing –
the thundering boom
rattles the windows
when I hold you
this way

. . .

the good silver ~

17 Thursday Jul 2014

Posted by tornadoday in a time for telling, Rambling

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

bliss, closer now to heaven than the stars, conscious consciousness, faith, family, fearless, grace, gravel roads, home, knowledge, life, living, love, memory, old maps, passion, reason, relationship, southern, spirit, strength, truth, understanding, value, wealth, wisdom

Not long ago, I was talking to someone who was considering a move. Eventually the conversation circled to a subject I was trying to avoid – a wondering about ‘where are you going to put all your stuff?’ The person I was talking with is from a different generation, one accustomed to formal living and dining rooms (a piano nobody played). The thought of moving from a house to apartment was agonizing for her, but my gut can’t help but wonder, ‘if you aren’t using two of the rooms you have now, how much will it really hurt? Maybe someone will actually sit on that twenty year old sofa.’ 😉faces

But it got me to thinking (as I surely do) about the things we keep, and how tightly we wind ourselves with preconceived notions of what is right, wrong, or remotely acceptable.

Last year, a friend asked, ‘what color are your dishes?’ I think she was wanting to embroider some dishtowels for me, or something similar. My response likely caught her by surprise, ‘it depends on which one is on top’. Matching dishes seems as logical as ‘the good silver’ or ‘the guest towels’. If you need a towel, take whatever you’d like. My personal favorite is one I took from the Embassy Suites in Boston some fifteen years ago. What matters to me is that I like it. Coffee cups? I have a few that match (in case anyone who is into that type of stuff comes by), but generally, I have a shelf of my favorites. One of the things that makes them such is the fact that they don’t match.

One has been cracked and put back together almost as many times as I have.

I can’t believe we need that many rules to live. In fact, if we love, I’m convinced the rest somehow works itself out.

letmehereI sometimes drive with the windows down (even in winter), and I love pepper on cantaloupe. I don’t wear white sandals (before or after Easter), and can’t recall ever a time I bought shoes to match a dress. Barefoot seems to work with almost everything I love, and if it doesn’t, well, I have no problem figuring out which feels the most right.

In fact, I’m hoping to get rid of a few suits in my closet this weekend. It’s possible I might need them again, but I’m more concerned that some well-meaning soul will bury me in one someday.

My students worry over whether it’s best to have a two page or a three page resume. The answer isn’t so hard – whatever works. The same goes for our lives. I find it funny that most people gum up their lives with concern over what to serve for dinner, rather than an understanding that it is quite possibly the least important thing. To be honest, some of the best meals I’ve had were sitting on the back tailgate of a pick-up truck, or pulled from a wire coat hanger hung over a roaring fire. The rules for decorum and style were the absolute last thing considered.

The rich never had it so sweet.

As with all of my ‘best’ memories and moments, there’s one common theme – love. When love was/is the most important thing, I’m most comfortable, even if means trading fine linens for cheap paper towels. Maybe (for me), truth resides in something far deeper than pockets.cc3985_a41f3ac97a0b25296b22e5cd99f01719_jpg_srz_570_393_85_22_0_50_1_20_0

Along the same lines, I’ll readily admit that I’m a less than perfect housekeeper. But if someone is visiting to see my house, I’d prefer they be so offended they never return. If there are crumbs on the counter, I’ve found an amazing remedy – turn off the lights and go to the porch.

There’s always room for the stars.

. . .

of ways I’ve known
worn down by years –
and promises of time
to bring me home
the long way back –
don’t need a map to know

the cool of dirt
beneath my feet –
rains to wash me clean
night birds sing to silence
swells beneath
the bone

. . .

destiny shared ~

11 Friday Jul 2014

Posted by tornadoday in folklore, Poetry

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

bliss, connection, conscious consciousness, destiny, dreams, fearless, grace, gravel roads, knowledge, life, love, nature, old maps, passion, places I am, reason, restless, southern, spirit, truth, understanding, value, wandering, wonder

gracesunderfire

this place
surely heaven
was fell from the dark
– a destiny shared
with luna
and lark

saved not by graces
or a night without dreams
of love growing silent –
remember

the lucid white weave
of present
to past
will never my first
be as sweet as the last

to lay me down
easy
beneath southern skies
where blackberry blooms
in December

. . .

glories ~

11 Friday Jul 2014

Posted by tornadoday in a time for telling, Poetry

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

beauty, bliss, connection, death, destiny, faith, fearless, flaws, grace, gravel roads, home, life, love, memory, old maps, passion, poetry, reason, resurrection, sacred intimacy, scars, spirit, truth, understanding, value, wandering, wonder

asI

there’s a shadow
to my collar –
where once a scar was new
and late one night
I shared my ache
with you

as a whisper
down the mountain –
a twine of glories flame
like the mist above the river
bears my name

not for verse
am I returning –
not for one more curs’ed rhyme
but for arms
around me folded –
I’m inclined

to remember
every promise –
the scent of winter hay
love
long after life
is swept away

shall I wait
your last tomorrow –
for a prayer before I go
into realms
where hearts are learning
all I know

. . .

awakened by a dream ~

08 Tuesday Jul 2014

Posted by tornadoday in a time for telling, Poetry

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

bliss, breath, connection, conscious consciousness, destiny, dreams, faith, grace, gravel roads, home, life, love, memory, nature, old maps, passion, spirit, truth, understanding, value, wandering

whereIgo

what now becomes
the way we knew
of all
that came before of sense
starlight fills my window
with hope
for evermore

wherein I know
as I knew then
of places unremembered
was touch –
a truth recalling me
to home again

a gentle rain
where no one sees
– sparrows sleeping
breast to breast
awakened by a dream
of falling leaves

time is but
a wiser sun
arisen to our will
as longing to a morning breeze
are moments held –
in quiet still

. . .

every night ~

04 Friday Jul 2014

Posted by tornadoday in a time for telling, Poetry

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

bliss, cherokee, closer now to heaven than the stars, connection, dreams, family, fearless, forgiveness, grace, gravel roads, home, knowledge, life, love, nature, old maps, poetry, postmark, reason, restless, spirit, truth, understanding, value, wandering

kentucky

queen anne’s lace
is held in place
by eighteen miles of nothing
but promise
that I might be coming
home

before a prayer
can get me there –
too late for Sunday supper
an empty plate
and someone waits
the night

gazing out on dusty fields
as whispers to the dark
ten thousand
precious wishes
for a star

as feathers fall
to quiet –
an angel on the pond
blessings weight
the memory
of every love
I’ve known

. . .

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Poetic Thoughts

Benjamin Grossman

Starry-eyed Writer, Cautious Philosopher, Hopeful Romantic

Discover WordPress

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

Walt's Writings

Poetry about Life, Love, Music by Walt Page, The Tennessee Poet

Silent Fingers

~ journey of a rose scented ink ~

houseofheartweb.wordpress.com/

ithoughtyouwerejoking.wordpress.com/

Exploring the epiphany

Seasonings

Just a little poetry...

Revelation

MyWorldsInWords

View my worlds

yelena's poetry

Now & Then

The fears of a girl, the heart of a woman, and everything inbetween...

Blonde in Flares

Flared and prepared.

Ziyaad poet

Just a cup of poetry and cookies

The Reluctant Poet

A Discovery of Enlightening Insights, Information, Humor, Writings and Musings

Dr. Eric Perry’s Blog

Motivate | Inspire | Uplift

Broken roads of Destiny

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” — Maya Angelou

grandfathersky

Thoughts and feelings made into words about the world and times in which we live ...

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Making a connection when everything is connected

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