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Maybe it’s the writer’s place – to wander and to wonder. What one might push away as nothing really important, a writer will not. A writer knows that everything matters, from the smallest gesture, the slightest glance, the briefest kindness. Writers pay attention, and what others might forget, we remember.
From the time I was twelve, I’ve had a recurring dream. That dream (or series of dreams) has been at the core of so many of my writings. I refer to them as ‘the house dreams’ because the anchor for all of them is a house – a house I know (but couldn’t possibly know). I know the porch and the pantry, the place on the floor where the afternoon sits. I know the color (and feel) of the wallpaper (fading aubergine), and the steps from the porch to the gate, from the gate to the barn, and how many (when running) before the orchard. I know which boards creak, and which locks won’t lock.
There’s a small cemetery to the left of the front yard with a stone I haven’t the heart to read.
I don’t know where the house is, but if I were to find myself on any road within a mile of it, I would know just where to turn. I’d surely recognize the sweetness of the air, the stillness on my soul.
A dear and old friend often asks about ‘the house’, and recently she made the comment, ‘you know that house is probably somewhere nearby – wonder who lives there’. To which, my immediate reply was “I do”.
If you believe in conscious unconsciousness, then you’ll understand when I say that I know that I’m dreaming when I’m there. I’ve spent many a night searching through boxes under ‘that bed’ looking for the thread that ties this life to that. And some nights, I’m so comfortable on ‘that porch’ that I hate the thought of returning.
Even now, I wonder what I tell them about you.
mysteries forgotten
by the seeker as she sleeps
remembered once
she wrote it down
or was that but a dream
left it on the table
as she was making up the bed
humming soft a tune
of faded love
. . .

Perhaps this is the matrix, this is the dream.
Once when I was very little, I dreamed of a tiny color TV (it was a life time before such things existed) I stayed up all night (it seemed) watching the little marvel.
And when the sunlight came, I searched and searched, but it was not to be found……
The same thing happened to me with a four leaf clover…. And I know I was not dreaming then!!! Sighs
Thanks for this piece of you, Bobbie, I will cherish it.
e
Thank you, Eric. Your comment refreshes other dream memories ~ one from a year or so back ~ it was a scary dream but something about it was uncomfortable for me ~ even dreaming, I knew that all I had to do was open my eyes and it would be gone. And that’s what I did, over and over. I’d lie there awake until my curiosity got the best of me, and *poof* away I would go……. I think the key to having that type of experience is to not be afraid of the going. Thank you, Eric……..*and I shall cherish these pieces of you as well* ~ B
Beautiful Bobbie.. it’s a real treat for me to read and soak up your thoughts. James.
As it is indeed a treat for me that they find you. Thank you so much, James. ~ Love ever, Bobbie
Wonderful dream to share, with such deep thoughts that live within…the place that you know best! And the poem so very lovely and you tied them both together so wholesomely! Thanks for the walk into the deep of you!
sweet
Thank you, Vimal. Your kindness humbles. ~ Love you, Bobbie
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