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tornadoday

~ …might I be found in words I leave behind

tornadoday

Tag Archives: memory

somebody’s baby ~

11 Wednesday Jul 2012

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Rambling, Soapbox

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

becoming, cherokee, connection, fearless, forgiveness, grace, gravel roads, life, living, love, memory, nature, old maps, postmark, reason, restless, self, spirit, strength, truth, understanding, value, wandering, wisdom, woman

Denim works better
than satin to soothe me –
t-shirts and bobby socks
shoes I’ve outgrown.
Coffee stirs feelings
of times I spent running –
and I don’t need a sign
to find my way home.

Briar and sassafras –
two kinds of lover.
The one who keeps count
and the one who won’t care –
what’s on for breakfast
of worlds unforgiven.
The roof is still leaking
but it’s warm enough here.

For all that I’ve written
there are pages still waiting –
like the space on the dresser
pearls never laid.
Fruit jars and masons –
tho nothing much matches.
Lacey white linens
I’ve given away.

There are spoons
in the pantry
and uneven tapers –
gates rusted shut
by the way of the bed.
Old maps are kept by the door
in a basket –
and a box full of memory
sleeps neath my head.

Some I can’t touch
for forgetting the reasons –
I kept them at all
of the things that I can’t.

Heaven gets lost
at the mention of leaving –
and there are acres
of promise nobody owns.
Berries grow wild
by the fence (barely standing)
and summer plays hell
with my soul.

Jasmine and lavender
three kinds of daisies –
dried to the line
my blankets to bless.
Hardwood and heartache
are nobody’s business –
as a moment of weakness
to silence confessed.

Life all around
and most barely living –
who I am (someone)
with none to approve.
I’ll sit the night out
as the porch light is fading –
laugh til I cry
and talk til I’m blue.

From the place of my pillow
a view of forever –
and thirty six stars light the ways
I’ve become.

Was a time that I worried
what was thought – what was fated –
and traded (sometimes)
what of me (best) belonged.
But there’s more here
than being (somebody’s baby)
and letting go gave me
a time to hold on.
To what of me mattered
(tadpoles and twilight) –
truths to remember
long after I’m gone.

I rock when I weep
and sing when it’s raining –
I walk when I dream
past the woods (far enough).
Grace never fails
to remind me (of someone)
the girl that I was –
wears the woman I love.

before ~

10 Tuesday Jul 2012

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Storytelling

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

becoming, faith, fearless, grace, gravel roads, kentucky, life, living, love, memory, old maps, passion, postmark, reason, restless, self, spirit, strength, truth, understanding, value, wisdom, woman


Who was I before
(I wonder
now and then).
Was I more than this
or less than most –
a trace of ‘might have been’.
Were my lips the same
when spoke your name –
did you hang on every word
or close your ears
(to hide your heart) –
should e’er the truth
be heard.

(I wonder)
when you hold me –
do you feel the same (inside).
A fluttering of osprey
a deep and growing tide –
or something less
(you’ve lost your way).
A place to be
instead –
hands above the table –
boots beneath the bed.

When offered life –
would just enough
be more than you could bear.
Of love (the same as breathing)
shall grieve for you
(I swear).
Misguided dreams
when nights were long –
forgot the need to pray
for morning light
(returned as love) –
to wash your fears away.

Was nothing
you remember –
as the same you were (made more).
Surrendered every memory
of who I was
before.

memory of me ~

09 Monday Jul 2012

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Storytelling

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

becoming, bliss, connection, destiny, dreams, grace, gravel roads, life, love, memory, old maps, passion, poetry, reason, spirit, truth, wandering, wisdom, woman

of pages
I can’t keep apart
for too long
at a time
when thought of moments
talking to the night
familiar as these counted sheets
mountain breeze
between them
ran my hands along
a forgotten
stretch of life

– and married there
a scribe
before the veil had come
couldn’t know of this
the story we would write

flesh to burn
and I don’t know your name

familiar taste
of sunlight spilling
lazy through the clouds
as you were there
and I as truth began

a reader wants
a poet loves
might I be less
than either
changed into a promise
none could speak

tho sweated to a page
(for tracing)
words to resurrect
each far away
is haunted
by your touch

as stillness sits
beside my bed
reading me a story
e’er I would choose
some different
yet to be
or beg to breath this moment
moonlight falls anew
softer now
the memory
of me

made to one ~

09 Monday Jul 2012

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Rambling

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

connection, destiny, faith, forgiveness, grace, knowledge, life, love, memory, passion, postmark, reason, relationship, restless, spirit, truth, understanding, wisdom, woman

forget me the season
now given to memory
much more than I keep
lest I touch to the flame
and run with my body on fire

stir not to ember
the last of those kisses
but to cool
even now
I can’t speak of them here

or recall to becoming
the light pouring in
were we ever not here
in this place of forgiveness
had I known
(did I know) all along

the past would not pass
without us to leave it
and who would be fooled
would be cheated
by such

as stays now
the secrets of living undone
by the one I thought not
in the going unto
and a place far enough
from the one I lay down

as names given more
to the moon
did I know (couldn’t know)
of the sweetest embrace
and hands (made to one)
would not do

already my faith
to be worried (away)
as a time not so long
in the space of a breath
much more letting go
scarlet threads
(wear me knot)

are forever
reweaving
forget me no more
as breath (once returned)
to your soul

worn into november ~

08 Sunday Jul 2012

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Storytelling

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

becoming, cherokee, connection, destiny, dreams, fearless, forgiveness, grace, gravel roads, heart, life, living, love, memory, old maps, postmark, reason, soul, spirit, truth, understanding, wandering, wisdom, woman

of places where you live –
none the more
than in my heart
with a window to the world
that is my dream

verses tied with pieces
of tomorrow’s wiser sun
as the fireflies came
crying to the sill –
begging me to go
beyond the wood

to mountains
brushed with ashes –
softly fell a whisper
was settled neath the porch
of standing still

for lifetimes (did I know)
when wished the brightest star
to bring you safely
to remember –
the destiny of thought
to bring you home –

the way of spring
of secret paths
worn into november
touch the same as breezes
wrapped a favored song –
as rain against the tin roof
of my soul –

laughter spinning stories
of a line or two we wrote –
before the storm
was settled in our bones

of all the places
you remain –
this one –
my longing stills
sometimes late at night –
I hear you sing

glass to wear ~

08 Sunday Jul 2012

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Storytelling

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

becoming, connection, destiny, dreams, love, memory, old maps, reason, restless, spirit, star crossed, truth, wandering, wisdom, woman

of fairytales
I’ve heard them say
there is no prince returning –
dare I let my braid
down by the wall –

where once (a summer)
there you stood
with nowhere else to wander
awaiting for our story
to unfold

remember how it all seemed
more (than we could
make it happen) –
and dreamed I once or twice
of far aways

castles (meant for merlin)
camelot of sorts –
bridges fell across
my evermore

closed my eyes
and gave a wish –
to stars beyond the dipper
lay me down –
give me glass to wear

let me sleep
ten thousand years
if there your kiss will find me
standing at the window
where you wait

something less ~

03 Tuesday Jul 2012

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Storytelling

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

becoming, destiny, dreams, faith, grace, holding on, life, love, memory, old maps, passion, poetry, reason, restless, southern, spirit, strength, truth, wandering, wisdom

pardon this
the ill affair
of marigold to mayfly
trumpets folded softly
to the burning of the day

stay the night
that I might tell
of others long since missing
praises once we sang
now silently oppressed

touch – o please I beg you
touch me with your waking
spin for me a web
of words I never heard

have I no more
to give you
wisdom not to worry
dare we speak of living
as a cup of something less

and sit with jam
as curses fell
denouncing all that was
pretending not
the best we couldn’t see

blue the fingers
morning paper
folded on your knee
anxious eyes to reach
beyond the door

as one unto another
beg me stay
to turn the page
gather now the reasons
for the letting go this way

as flesh to fire
as words to wing –
dam the bloody river
and tell them all
I watched for you always

years before the locust swarm
nights betrayed the fourth
taking back my innocence
holding back the storm

slept before the news was come
of dying on the pasture
wore your name in two
against my skin

now the day is trading
all I meant to tell you then
of centipedes and winters
not as long

of blooms along the eastern ridge
deep the weeds to marry
babies pushed from branches
paint the lonely night

stay if for a moment
heed the waning of your soul
shifted as the moon became
a story I shall tell

as you know me ~

02 Monday Jul 2012

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Rambling

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

becoming, connection, destiny, dreams, fearless, forgiveness, grace, gravel roads, life, living, love, memory, reason, spirit, truth, wandering, wisdom

in the orange
of the lilies –
do you find me growing there
wrapped in vine
the shade of april moss

whenever night is come
into the shadows where you lay
do you dream that I’m the sun
and take me in

in the lullabye
that carries you
before your eyes awake
do you wonder to the me
that rests beside

or linger by
an empty field
so sure you saw me there
walking tween the rows
of bergamot

do you worry of the notes I left
fragile leaves of time
or nailed against a bridge
you burned before –
do you see the signs
(do you know the way)
I came to find you waiting –
as the final wash of tides
into the bay

do you hear my voice
in private –
some faint amen I spoke
hastened by a prayer to recollect
the rest we knew
the last to prove
there would be no other ‘other’
no fall me down
to pick me up
again

do echoes sit the places
where we gathered by the noon –
will life return
before the wind’s caress –
what of us is left to be
when everything is gone
will then the orange
bloom within
your vest

or cling to that which
beats within –
tho covered now by scars
whene’er you see the dove
without a song
will you know me
(as you know me)
in the way the briars sting

to close the night
before the sun gets in

forbidden flame ~

02 Monday Jul 2012

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry, Storytelling

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

becoming, cherokee, connection, destiny, dreams, grace, living, love, memory, nature, old maps, passion, reincarnation, relationship, restless, spirit, truth, wisdom

for wanting more
than just these days –
as passion nights since passed
distant stars forbidden now
their flame –

but once before I rocked beneath
the promises they whispered
wishes they remembered
ten thousand lives before
when another I was fated
to the place beneath their mercy
and heard the stories told
before they came

knew for me
the same as they
would last beyond my journey –
would see me come
and known by other names

no different
the dark eyed girl
who played beneath their graces
named them each by someone
that she loved

held them safe
against her heart –
my favored understanding
and swore anew to keep them
past the end
whenever then the time might come
as love – again returning
to find the ways to love
would love again

the lines between
the darkest nights
when only two could twinkle –
shone beyond the canopies
into the place I lay

dreaming dreams
I shouldn’t know –
of other rivers crossing
seven silver sisters
and mysteries to spare

back the way remembered
how could I know them (sweetly)
by names I gave them leaving
to remind of me
of their love

the door is locked ~

27 Wednesday Jun 2012

Posted by tornadoday in Poetry

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

death, fearless, forgiveness, gravel roads, love, memory, old maps, reason, relationship, restless, spirit, strength, truth, wisdom

was there time before
you made of this a choice
and passed beneath the window
without a name

did you tarry
on the orchard
waiting way too long (again)
for something more to come
(it never came)

remembering another life
and words
you might have said
seems now the door is locked
the path grown o’er
and nothing you can do or say
will change the past
to be

can’t take it back
to starting –
can’t bring it back to me

when passed we have
into the place of tortured recollection
memories to haunt us
(fate we keep)
truth was more than honest –
than we could ever be
a weight too much
we carry to our sleep

take again
one labored breath
and let the rest be passed
gather now the moments
you hold dear
love remains
and nothing else
(nothing else can matter)
say it now
tho no one waits
to hear

Author’s Note – Inspired by a heart-wrenching entry
in a dear friend’s notebook of truth –
‘he is dead now’ from Scattered leaves with poetic imprints

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