moksha ~

26 Thursday Apr 2012

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so fine the pattern
weaved beneath the heavens
(what I know)
is sometimes tempered
by what I’ve chosen
(there to see…)
denying every proof
(was proof required…)
echoes might have been
the mountain falling
(though even now, I swear…
I hear a robin sing)…

what mantra I remember
was it just a name (I’d spoke before)
or only in the place
(my mind perceives)…
when kissed your hands…
and took your breath (in mine)…
was providence succumb
to nothing more than moments (clear)
forever gone
(before forever knew)…

I’ve said before
love remains in what we choose (to keep…)
would I choose to be a dreamer…
seeing poppies
bloom from stones
(or symphonies of light
within your smile)….

I’ve wondered (as I do)…
and wandered (more because)
between reality and somewhere
(else) created…

I used to know
the sound of maples
(before the turning red…
before a branch was broke…
(the forest burns)…
I blused beneath the secret
of the oldest sycamore
(cicadas stormed across a willing sky)…

of every sign
(lightning bugs have gone for good)…
how much the weight (a whisper)
for a sigh…….

I knew the reasons then…
(and still I love)
the warmth of autumn
(holding in December)…
what silence said
no words could guarantee…

I knew the way to you…
(and I was me)

divinity
a moment (manifesting)…
tears of joy
(could have been the rain)…

The Weight of Waiting ~

26 Thursday Apr 2012

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I’ve seen that smile
I know the wearer —
tender hides the wars inside.
Time for changing —
not much longer.

Days to evermore —
we ride.

I see you standing
past the promise…
black the cherries —
still you bleed.
What of manna rained from heaven —

would for your love
my own be freed…

I know regret
a time remembered —
guilty works to douse the flame…
was the touch
that left you longing —

welcomed kiss
that wears your name.

Would truth be lost
to moments waiting —
Eternity —
shall pass unseen…
Where was love
is still — and present —

shall be no less
for days between.

A fleeting smile
I know the reasons —
were not for words
or destiny.
Silence bears the weight
of waiting —

for what of love
is still to be…

eulogy ~

26 Thursday Apr 2012

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it’s not my way to pick apart
the pieces that are left
to savor precious drops
still in the glass
to lie awake
imagining another time to be
would rather live to love
til life is passed

there’s nothing here
for keeping
I’m just a poet
passing through
without a word
I was to find
but loved a time or two

made my way
and made my name
a woman I would be ~
laughter echoes
somewhere else
in waves of ecstasy

for age shall never worry
or grief be held for long
meadows may grow thicker
for paths I wandered on

before my fate is ended
one more verse
shall I recite
wherever love ~
the story falls
to pages I shall write

with the apostles ~

25 Wednesday Apr 2012

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I’ve been known
to seek religion
in the backseat of a Buick –
to find my home
in lonely nights
turned blue by love’s regret.
I’ve toasted life
with dime store wine
and knelt with the apostles –
sang Jesus Loves
til I was drunk
on bartered dreams
and bets.

I wanted more
and took the chance –
gambled with my share of loss.
I took a spin
on fate’s long haul
and willed the rest away.
I’ve burnt my knees
on sacred men –
and damned their will
in leaving.
Whispered hymns
of longing –
this body to betray.

Too many times
and then once more –
was bruised and for another wept.
Ashes into laundromats
and longing spilled to verse.
Poems filled with evermore –
a candle barely flickers
to hide the smile
I wear for you –

there lies the truth
I curse.

better still ~

25 Wednesday Apr 2012

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better that the dream
be gone ~
than held for me
one moment more
that breath should heave
one final sigh
(a whisper of surrender)
e’er I would taste
its sweetness
beyond the winter freeze ~
and share my love of graces
with poppies in the spring

better that the seeds
be tossed
to highways (not yet taken)
wed in painted canyons
gift to pastures
white with frost ~
places where the rain
was fallen softly
rolled into the ocean
and sailed
in search of me

better that my soul
remember
what of beauty lasted ~
and where each wonder
lingered (did I know)
with every kindness
(I’ve returned)
as kisses from the grave ~
voices cling to silence
(down below)

better that I wait
the sunset glowing in the night ~
promise made
was never mine to keep
(windows glowing bright)
across the sands,
another savior –
where I was lost (and found)
~ where is my love

better I believe
in everafters (surely come)
eternities to wait
(so tenderly)
where meadows bloom
from ashes – and sparrows
wing from words –
paradise is where I am
and better still
for me

in search of you ~

24 Tuesday Apr 2012

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(♥)

when from the start decided
who would love
and who would last –
what grace the earth would give
us in the fall
what hallowed place
would lure us home
with memory of forever
prayers that took all night
to say amen –
kneel with me
reveal in me
the waters slowly rising
how much of this we need
will surely go –
the weight of bones
as polished stones –
steps from now to never
flowers here were planted
in my stead
a line or two
before the fates
were gathered from the shadows
lest we block the light
from coming in –
a jealous moon to fold
against my mercies –
as fallen angels
rise in disbelief
write it down (take a note)
but stay a moment longer –
quicken my resolve
for evermore
a kiss denied your essence
still haunts in first
embraces
a memory –
becoming (who I am)

hands explore the dark
in search of you

 

from the falling ~

24 Tuesday Apr 2012

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when I have fallen
failed –
and picked me up
to carry –
the way made good
for what I hoped to find
solitude and beauty
a spinner weaves to life
the shadow born
of heartache (part illusion)
patterns warped
and riddled with the answers
(did I know)

of all I’ve given
give me back –
silken threads
to reach around –
ropes were once I spun

beauty from the falling –
let me fail

purple roads ~

24 Tuesday Apr 2012

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you choose the road
I’m driving
sit there for a while
and close your eyes
o honey
wait until we get there
long before the sun comes up
still warm enough
through the night
I’ll watch the headlights
casting lacey spells
upon your sleeping face
hid in shadows (I believe)
was wonder made

forget the map
it never made for sense
whenever choice was come
direction always seems to know
the universe deciding
(purple roads)
turn around or stop
to watch us spinning
long deserted strands
white lines fading
into no one knows
(which way to where we’re going)
forever held within
as far as we can reach
before the dream
wakes up

it’ll be your turn
to drive

breath of a poet ~

24 Tuesday Apr 2012

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squeezed to the margins
and numbered as pages
was ink ever noticed
how quickly to dry –
my lone indiscretion
turned verse into madness –
eternity waiting
another swept by –

to brighten my window
with pink recollection
warmed by a welcome so true
arms opened wide
eyes closed and trusting

take me
forsake me
do what you do –
become my confession
but leave me (still wanting)
with a will to recall and reasons to write
before this to slumber
I take of my leave –
and bury my fears
in illusion of light

rhyme against rhyme
breath to a poet –
pour to my longing the fate of my ways
as every sunrise
is returned to the darkness
and I but a place
(you will stay)

infuse me
refuse me
tell me another
of the past that lies down
in lust for the morn
pages to shiver
pull closer the curtains
would lean toward the margins
setting fire to the page

no one goes ~

23 Monday Apr 2012

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all day I sleep
in rooms
where no one goes
tucked away the grown up clothes
(I should have worn)
tis all a waste
for nakedness is my resolve
shall crush the pillow to these
mortal blossoms
cushions weighted
holy remnants (of sin)

at night, I wander……white and pale
beneath the daunting sliver of half awake
eyelids drawn
(shutters on the world)
there’s no one here to watch
no one will ever know I left the room
would never shake
the sinner’s sheets
(to find me gone)

chocolates and day old sweets
news someone thought we should know
but now the print is faded
(rained just yesterday)
I’d forgotten they delivered
(wonder who has all the rest)

in solitude, I search for papers
‘lest love be lost
were not for me (the story known)
cups cracked with broken pencils
ink puddled in disgrace
 
(festering) reminders
of truth I should have written
nights before

all day I sleep
in rose papered rooms
remembered unremembering
a vision caught between the pain
and glass
is hardly known
but for me still lingers
(where no one sees)
watching for the faintest hint
I know of my nakedness