seems to me

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Of times before
I let them pass
burning sun into the night.
Told myself another lie –
hurts would heal in morning light.

Seems I’ve turned myself
around –
found the message in the wind
found the blossom in the snow
Into these eyes
I look again…

beyond the scars I cannot change
but for their right –
the want to bleed
hurts that made me
(this I am)
and not for less would I concede.

Ashes scatter
raised to wing –
sunset warm upon my face.
Destiny is mine to choose
for love is never far
from grace.

Another dawn
from this of dreams
comes without the need to grieve.
Faceless name
no looking back
for what I am (is what I keep).

Today awakes another sun
born of love
I give away –
becomes the beauty in my scars
burning bright another day.

truths retraced

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whatever road becomes of this
beaten path or country lane
wherever I might find
my home
sunlit skies or pouring rain
come to stories
left aside and couldn’t tell
spilled as flame into the mist
compass swirls
without a star within a breath
from every mouth
a (welcome) kiss

returns again in flight
to lines that I can see
curved to blue and fading now
places gone
another life I lived (to love)
finds the way to me somehow
back and forth
the search for one more word
a way to say what’s on my mind
a gift of song
some other me (you know)
needs more than ink
and quiet time

caught between the rise
to set
my thought to heaven
(I have known)
shores so white
and streets of gold
have naught to earn the feel of home
was here I heard my name
aloud
tumbled from a lover’s sigh
sparrows flood the morning air
as night and day are
pulled apart

traces lent to wandering
across and back
these ink stained hands
truths retraced
though now they’re gone
til only silence listens
whatever road becomes of this
beaten path or country lane
wherever I might find
my home –

sunlit skies
of pouring rain

last time

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The last time
I held you –
the train was just leaving.
A pink piece
of twilight
was burned
soft as coal.
A whistle of promise –
came sweet
down the canyon –
for a moment
(forever)
was a hand
we could hold.

The last time
I saw you –
was just around morning.
We rolled into Beaumont
and stopped for a bite…
I remember that look –
how distant
(how dreamy)
reflecting on something
we’d lost
to the light.

The last time
I kissed you –
was two o’clock Sunday…
bent over journals –
some place
never been.
A dark stretch of highway
(and no place
for turning) –
back to beginning
we wandered
again.

The last time
I called you –
I suffered my longing
how deep (the missing)
a place
you once knew.
How dear
the memory
of roads left to travel –
ere time give me
mercy –

another
last time
with you.

Guilty

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“My mornings typically start with a period of devotion. Since I had already ‘jumped ahead’ and read today’s devotion (on Monday), I flipped to the center of book…confident in finding the right place!

Anyway, the article was written by Mary Lou Ritten and related to four leaf clovers – the analogy that you have to train your eyes to see the four leaf variety among all the rest – just as you have to train your heart to see the good in others instinctively (over the bad). Far too often, we never see beyond ourselves. We’re so involved in getting to the next place that we forget to live in this one (in a place and time we will never be again).

Yeah, I know – perhaps a little weebie-weebie! Anyway! I thought of those drawings that were popular years ago….the ones where you had to ‘train’ your eyes to see the hidden picture. But once you “saw” it, you couldn’t look at the picture again without seeing what you had missed initially.

I like to think that I always look for the good, but sometimes it’s more difficult than others. Do you remember the gratitude journals that were popular several years ago? Each evening, you would list five things you were grateful for. I have a miracle journal (some days – the miracle is that I didn’t kill anyone). The ideas are much the same – to help us to ‘refocus’ our attention.”

I wrote that almost two years ago, as part of a challenge to those within my circle to retrain our eyesight to see the best.

I’ve been accused of many things – a dreamer, a hopeless romantic, one who just won’t let go. I suppose I’m guilty but until yesterday, I didn’t quite understand how the two fit together. During the course of a job fair, it was noticed that there were substantially more people in my line even though the other lines might have resulted in a shorter wait. Some joke was made about it, and I commented that it was probably because I could type faster.

But at the end of the day, a guy who worked alongside me brought up again. He wouldn’t let me ‘laugh it off’ this time, commenting that people were attracted to me because in my eyes, they saw hope. They didn’t see pity or judgment – they saw themselves – the best of themselves. At that moment, I realized a lot of things about the path I’ve taken to ‘here’ and the ‘home’ I’ve found in the now. It is my reward to work with the broken, to see something more – to help them see something more than circumstance and consequence. Maybe if they see that I haven’t given up, they’ll choose not to.

Am I guilty? I certainly am. I’ll spend half a day looking for a four-leaf clover in a patch of weeds or a week involved in work that someone else might see as a total waste of time. I’ve held on to milk, eggs, and relationships (at times) way past their expiration dates, believing in a ‘good’ that no one else could see. When the tough get going, I get comfortable. I’m not giving up, especially when it comes to people. If that makes me a fool, then I’m a fool. A hopeless romantic? Could be. I’ve decided to make no more excuses for holding on, even if it means being accused of being blind. It’s what I do, and I believe it’s what I’m meant to do.

I’ve known darkness. I’ve lived it and I’ve looked into eyes where there was nothing more, convincing myself of a flame. I will always believe that good trumps evil (every single time), and that tinfoil, in the right light, is surely a diamond.

invisible

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where are you now
I’ve forgotten the way
and how far the fall from believing
how tender the heart
how deep run the blues –
and eyes to surrender a soul
with no thought to pain
no thought to hurting –
you’ll take what you need
when you do
the light that you leave
fills the sky of your parting
and I am come home
when I remember
your smile

Richard 2009

By its very nature, homelessness is impossible to measure with 100% accuracy. 
More important than knowing the precise number of people who
experience homelessness (or who we can blame)
is our progress in ending it. Recent studies

suggest that the United States generates homelessness at a much higher rate
than previously thought.

Our task in ending homelessness is thus more important
now than ever.

journey home

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cooler now the eastern wind
has come to blow me homeward –
with pieces of remember
I was born

returning as the falling snow
sticking to the branches –
winter white surrendered me
from where I laid to rest

another time –
a sweeter soul
no different for the dying
let me sleep
and seal these words within

the place I was committed
as a softer glow of setting –
dream me there of circumstance
and bring my winds
to sing

 ~

along these shores
forever waits
a sailor not forgotten –
strands beneath a winter sail
to make his passing true
stories of deliverance
tales of wealth and sorrow
dreams to sink beneath the waves
the rest to float away

but on another bank there stands
a maiden with a promise
words worn through by happenstance –
I swore I’d never cry
life is passing slowly
the waves of time are falling –
and he still sails
come home remember this –
remember me
the keeping of your compass
grains of sand to pour upon the sea
come again leave her arms –
returning to the river
the ocean cries –
but please return to me

cast aside your tired oars
and step out on forever
I’ll watch the tide –
and walk the shores for you

~

time has left a letter here –
poscript of surrender
and silver weaves as wonder
through my braid
lights are dimmed as all the others –
laugh at my insistence
the day will come
the sun will rise in me

the mirror sighs an awkward course –
for where the foolish tary
the strength to bare (so unaware)
of where you are tonight
the night grows cool to memories –
the coming back (so worth it)
a moment then
I’d die again for this

’round again

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in the place
where I was started
before the first amen
was grace
while eyes were closed
against the sun
was moon to trace
his lazy limbs
of winter to the waters
saw himself and wading in
he sailed –

across the tides
a million miles
to those who never knew him
a place consumed by shadows
fell to dark –
became the night – a virgin veil
an imprint too eternal
fulfilling every promise –
a way beyond the way
placed of stones
to mark the passing hours
as moments (still)
when all the rest
are gone

blindness
bears the truth
we’ve come to tell

come
on silver slippers
come as trailing vine –
mark the way with purpose
leaving ignorance
behind – to see anew
with softer eyes
the place
where yesterday
the moon was playing
hide and seek
against a failing light

– whispered then
I’ve found you
to himself

forever changed

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was the long way home
and I knew better
than to try and beat the sun
took a left along the ridge
was taken back
when caught the glint of crosses
reflected copper curse
held my breath a time too long
and rolled into the black
never saw the light
as lifetimes pulled away
~*~
eighteen wheels
and nothing more
than words denied their music
caught between the canyons
somewhere in mexico
the winter raged
swirling white
though you had hardly noticed
when something more
than snowflakes
turned the truck around
a dark eyed girl
was stranded there
forgotten every manner
pushed the maps away
and climbed into your arms
never made the trip again
you won’t regret it
was something that she said
already knew
~*~
was another day
the air so thick
smoke was cool and clawing
apples fell
too heavy for the trees
fifteen steps from gate to wood
twenty-five to pasture
you reasoned I should stay
I never should
til thunder cracked
a cannon took my heart
from off her track
let the supper wait
I don’t care if it burns
too many steps
far many tears
I found you ‘neath the willow
where once another time
we held the truth
forever changed as echoes peeled
aside my will for living
not sure of much
your eyes took me away
but not without a promise made
I wonder if you heard
would remember this
the vow for one more day
to find you
when the creeks were
softly rising
when sunlight burns
his way into your night
destiny would bring me home
no matter to the moments
come between
~*~
I wonder do you know
how sweet
the smell of apples falling
ashes into tears
snowflakes from the sky

the same (and not) as then

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tis not the same
you knew me then
this one –
much more than when
of innocence
and sweetness
stole a kiss –
and made a vow
but grass has grown
and forests fell –
touched the fire
and lived (somehow)
so close – I could smell
forever burning

is there a sweet
some sweetness still –
but a flame
I won’t let go
for I feel the hurt
I bear the pain –
I know
I know
I know

there are worlds
beyond the petals
to blossom in my hand –
there are sands
beyond the silver shores
and hearts – won’t be unbroke
souls denied a place
to be –
truths you dare not know

from where you are
am I the same
of this I won’t deny
the world I knew before
was you
this now is opened wide
and so have I
my heart explodes
my soul to take it in
breath of love
forgiving –
the same (and not)
as then

tell the wind

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take heed
that I remember
as my final breath is passed
to tell the wind
of how we loved
that I not be the last
the last to hear
the last to say
your precious name aloud
might spread it to the furthest plains
and to the darkest clouds
would tell the mountain
high above the cliff
that guards the lake
and rush beyond the sunset
another dawn to wake
with news of you
news of love
the best of which remains
as long as one remembers
the reasons why we came
let years be kind their passing
lest I hold silent until then
will give at last
with tender care
my longing to the wind

Author’s note: This work relates to a separate work “not so far” , and in fact
is closer to the original thought. The inspiration for both – a conversation
relating to storytelling (and immortality). Storytelling is a lost art, and yet vitally
important to our society, and to our universal family. Every effort should
be made to keep our stories alive through the telling and retelling far beyond
the first witness to bear.

As such, we shall live. Surely, we shall live as long as one remembers.
It is with this thought that I wrote of my commitment to tell – to tell the wind.