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The universe remembers.
So much of our disappointments are the result not being remembered – by a friend, a lover, a time. We wonder if (perhaps) we were alone in that place, in that ache.
But the universe remembers. It remembers the prayer, the writing down of every dream. It remembers the rhythm of your heart, for it is a shared beat.
Lately, I’ve been overwhelmed with my schedule. Teaching is so important to me, and yet, on more than one occasion, I’ve wondered about direction, resources, and a balancing of passion, desire, and grass too high.
But I wasn’t doing a lot with my worry, other than speaking aloud in my car, on the porch, and in the dark. It’s been almost four years since the non-profit I was working with lost their grant, and three since they stopped making copies, following-up, caring. The class continued because it mattered to me, and I was/am convinced it matters to my students (even if just one). Otherwise, it’s an extra 200 miles a month on my car. A proposed change to one Saturday a month had been accepted by the Director of the outreach facility, but I can’t help but feel for those who will miss the session due to their own recovery schedule. I even feel guilty for thinking that reaching some of them is better than none.
I felt selfish.
Last week, I updated my Linked-in profile and joined an HR group for purposes of sharing ideas on leadership, policy and emotional intelligence studies. That was Monday.
On Tuesday, I received an email from an organization with a message that my posts had been insightful, and further, that a volunteer opportunity had been identified that I might be interested in.
My immediate thought was to ignore it since I was already filled with angst over my schedule. And yet, the name of the organization grabbed me. The email came from a group by the name of Catchafire.
Names are my undoing. The paint in my bedroom will forever be the same for no other reason. It’s a soft grey – woodsmoke. I couldn’t delete and so I replied, ‘tell me more’.
Catchafire is a ‘match-maker service’ of sorts, hooking up volunteers with non-profit organizations.
The opportunity is for a storyteller.
Of course, I was interested and on Thursday, I spoke with the president of the non-profit. In the meantime, they had a few questions. At the time, I wondered if maybe I should take more time with my answers. But ultimately, our answers are our answers. How much time did I need to tell how I feel about story?
The founder of this non-profit is in her nineties. Though she participates (still) with various conventions, etc., her endurance suffers, even as a new younger audience emerges, thirsty for her story. It is a pressing concern for the organization. And there, my job – to tell. From audio interviews, videos, and phone calls, I will do my best to capture the history of this amazing woman.
This doesn’t change the ache I feel for my students, but it gives me a new love which buffers the longing a bit. With time to pause, reflect, and regroup, it is a much needed breath in which to decide where I bloom next. In the slower pace, I can formulate a plan, apply for funding, and reach out to other organizations with similar passions. For certain, I won’t forget.
Which reminds me….
The universe calls (the universe listens).
. . .
of moments so fragile
they’re lost to the rhyme
as birds on the line
we left long ago
where they whisper
of heaven –
above and below
. . .
LadyBlueRose's Thoughts Into Words said:
this did make me smile Bobbie, I am happy for you as i know your abilities? no ..you gift of story-telling, a true Bard….
the other smile is it restores a little bit of faith in the Universe listening… 🙂
I have my doubts most days, but today, i will rest that doubt as I watch the storm come and go….I love the rain and the sounds it brings….
Good read, and again..I am happy for you
Take care…You Matter…
O, Maryrose, never ever doubt. I’m sure I’ve had my moments, but more and more, I’m coming to realize that (for me anyway), it’s more about me paying attention. As I tell my students, ‘everything matters; nothing matters’………. We awake just in time to see the sun……… ❤ And here we are, you and I………..bound by some moment when we both wandered. What a blessing you are……….
A place for sitting……….for discovering a path we’d forgotten was there………. You are so sweet, Salva. I hope you’ll forgive me for being away a bit longer than normal. I see that icon, and cannot help but smile……. (and I love my smile) ❤
Ha! Tornadoday returned!!! 😀 I was really wondering, because so many comments weren’t replied to, yet, something a little bit unfamiliar. But may be, I still get lucky and we might exchange the one or other thought about your tremendous poetry (or is it prose-poetry?) of searching and giving …
Looking forward eagerly,
Knowing how you feel about your students, I feel that, at least for a time, you needed a change, Bobbie, a break, maybe to acquire a fresh perspective and, as you said, come back with new ideas and plans. Keep on keepin’ on, darlin’ girl. ~ever~
Yes, and yet, I find I can’t break from them. Two weeks ago, it was a larger than usual class and I felt they weren’t really listening. But when the class ended, and as I was leaving, a young man found me and introduced himself…….. He thanked me for being there, and for giving him something to think on. He smiled and said he looked forward to seeing me in October…….. (And of course, I smiled back….)
Wendell A. Brown said:
As your selfless heart radiantly shines through your words…i find my heart to dance so happily. You are a dear treasure B! Always keep sharing yourself that is always our nature…have a wonderful evening! Hugs!
Thank you, Wendell. Always, your name is raised in prayer, as your kindness counted in my joys. Ever………. ❤
This post brought joy into my heart. You are an amazing teacher, a giver of thoughts and inspirations. I thank you for sharing this. I love you, darling! I can’t tell you the gratitude I feel every time I read your posts. You are my teacher on a daily basis.
O, Millie………you are my teacher, my friend, my mentor. In your words, I find a kindred understanding………another imperfect (perfect) flame. ❤
Jane Thorne said:
Dearest Bobbie, fragile connections, caught, built on and then they see life and evolve. With your huge heart and spirit you will not forget your students and will weave this ‘new’ back to them in a different form. All in the tapestry of love, these golden strands and at times seemingly conflicting schedules, weave in. I see you as an effervescent strand. Always, ❤ xXx
Jane, I wish I felt that way. At times, it is overwhelming, and I know that some of that is my own doing…….for I find it difficult to let go. I can’t help but wonder to that one person who has not yet looked into eyes that saw hope………. ❤