I’ve been known
to seek religion
in the backseat of a Buick –
to find my home
in lonely nights
turned blue by love’s regret.
I’ve toasted life
with dime store wine
and knelt with the apostles –
sang Jesus Loves
til I was drunk
on bartered dreams
and bets.

I wanted more
and took the chance –
gambled with my share of loss.
I took a spin
on fate’s long haul
and willed the rest away.
I’ve burnt my knees
on sacred men –
and damned their will
in leaving.
Whispered hymns
of longing –
this body to betray.

Too many times
and then once more –
was bruised and for another wept.
Ashes into laundromats
and longing spilled to verse.
Poems filled with evermore –
a candle barely flickers
to hide the smile
I wear for you –

there lies the truth
I curse.